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Right Wing Conspiracy Theorists Claim Donald Trump Has Been Dead For Two Weeks

There were loads of bizarre right wing conspiracy theories making the rounds last year, providing a strange kind of justification for Americans who found Donald Trump emotionally compelling but found it difficult to counter other people’s criticisms of Trump. They discovered that an argument such as “I don’t see how anyone can vote for Hillary Clinton when she is operating a child sex slave ring out of the basement of a pizza parlor” quickly reduced liberal objections to astonished denials of THE TRUTH.

The crazy conspiracy theories of 2016 weren’t just politically useful for Donald Trump. They were also financially lucrative for the people who pumped them out. Web traffic from Republican voters desperate to find any grounds for excusing their support for a psychologically unhinged, historically ignorant, violently abusive presidential candidate was translated into profit for a small number of people who laid out networks of weird stories claiming to expose dark stories about Democratic politicians worthy of The X-Files.

Now that Donald Trump has been in office for almost a year, the old urban legends aren’t bringing in as much cash for those who seek to profit from right wing gullibility. So, they’re coming up with a new round of reactionary folktales, and they’re finding that the more sensationalistic the stories, the more traffic they draw. Little sensationalism can come from a political party that’s out of power, though.

So it is that, as 2017 draws to a close, right wing conspiracy theorists are beginning to feed on their own creation, spinning yarns about dark machinations within the Trump White House.

Three days ago, a story claiming that Donald Trump is dead, and has been dead since December 15, appeared on right wing conspiracy networks. The pitch for the story, released on December 27, goes like this: ”Donald Trump died about 12 days ago. BEFORE YOU DISMISS THIS AS ABSURD AND IMPOSSIBLE, please take the time to see this and the VERY VERY relevant video interview of Joseph Stalin mentioned. SO, was their plan to get a 100% controllable clone in the POTUS office successful? NO! You´ll see why. TRUMP DEAD https://www.youtube.com…”

Yes, these people are making the claim that Donald Trump was cloned, and the real Donald Trump was then killed, so that a mind-controlled puppet could be placed in the White House instead. But something tripped up the conspiracy… An old man in a polo shirt appears in the video, dangling a small metal chain. This man claims that he has the magic power to determine who is alive and who is dead by swinging the metal chain back and forth, waiting for a number to be communicated by the spirits that control the movements of the chain. Whenever he gets a number of 100, he knows that the person in question is dead. Guess what – Donald Trump got a 100. According to the man with the swinging chain, conspirators have created six different clones of Trump.

Psychic dowser

This conspiracy theory piggybacks on an old one from decades ago, claiming that a species of evil reptiles is controlling human politics by replacing politicians with cloned, mind-controlled replicas. In another video from the day before Donald Trump is supposed to have died, a man named Karl Mollison claims that he is able to allow the spirit of long-dead Soviet dictator Joseph Stalin to speak once more. ”You must understand that I have been catching up on current events since my recent spirit rescue,” the spirit Stalin says.

Conspiracy theory video 2017

In the real world, Donald Trump and his Republican allies in Congress are redirecting massive amounts of wealth away from working Americans into the accounts of wealthy elites and powerful corporations. They’re putting the nation in debt, destroying public lands, dismantling the protections that keep us healthy and safe, and allowing our country’s democracy to atrophy.

Members of Donald Trump’s political base aren’t concerned about these things, though, because they have a larger perspective… in which evil reptilians are lurking behind the scenes in Washington D.C., using telepathically-controlled clones of Trump to advance their Deep State agenda, as revealed by messages from the ghost of Joseph Stalin.

How can anyone argue against that?

One thought on “Right Wing Conspiracy Theorists Claim Donald Trump Has Been Dead For Two Weeks”

  1. Al Hopfmann says:

    Does this mean that Alec Baldwin is now the President?
    Will Al Franken become Vice President?

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