Idiocy in Advertising
In our treks through the morning paper, the magazine racks at the neighborhood 7-11 and the vast wastes of the Gobi Desert, we at Irregular Times frequently come across the irritating. We often come across the objectionable. We even occasionally encounter the absurd. But it is rare that we read something so moronic, so inane, so just plain
stupid that we feel the need to share the moment with you.
The advertisements below represent those valuable moments of sheer idiocy. They fall into two broad categories. In some ads the idiocy lies with the advertiser, and the more clever reader can ferret out some really stupid mistakes. In other cases, the clever advertiser
seems to think that the readers must be idiots, given the tactics they adopt. Which ads fall into which categories? We'll let you decide for
yourself. Enjoy, but please don't emulate!
Shopping for the mathematically disinclined?
Because sometimes you need a littl hep with your papur:
This ad had its debut in the halls of the University of Arizona in
September 1997. The ad, with the same mistake, was posted again in January 1998, and yet again in August 1998. If you want careful, observant, informed proofreading, these are definitely the people to go to.
From our junk e-mail department:
We got this junk e-mail a little while back. What's the real company
behind what is variously described as "8195.com", "Unforgettable.com" and
"Megaresource.com"? We don't know, but we've got some suspicions:
Viruses-R-Us?...Infect-A-CPU?.... Anyway, here's the text:
From 26664780@08195.com Sat Oct 18 13:41:56 1997
Date: Thu, 25 Sep 97 13:32:00 EST
From: 26664780@08195.com
Reply-To: lotsmdony@msn.com
To: mnynr7mlbx@your.mailbox.com
Subject: From Me.
The following conversation is taking place around the country
with people who are now trying to figure out where to spend all
their money produced solely from a single 1.44 Meg diskette:
Me: "Joe (his name has been changed to protect his vanity)! Are you
still looking for the perfect home based business?"
Joe: "Yup."
Me: "What happened to the Ostrich farm?"
Joe: "Darn things kept biting me and the cat didn't like them at all.
Do you know how bad those things smell?"
Me: "Would you trust my intuition that I think I have found the perfect
one for you? No potions, lotions, or pills, No huge start-up, No company
to take out loans from. I think it is everything you've been looking for."
Joe: "Tell me about it."
Me: "I don't really have time to go into the details. There is a Demo
Version of the software available on my web-site. If you download the
program and install it into your IBM compatible computer all of your
questions will be answered."
Joe: "How much money can I make?"
Me: "How much do you WANT to make?"
Joe: "A lot."
Me: "Go get this program. It's exactly what you are looking for!"
Joe: "Okey Dokey."
Just go to -----> http://www.aqualert.com/megaresource.com <-------
(If you can't download it for some reason, just send an e-mail to
income.creator@unforgettable.com and I will see to it that you get a copy
via e-mail or snail mail).
An Herbalife
representative plastered this one on our windshield. It seems that the
only way you can get your money back is by losing more than 30
lbs.
Apparently, when you
buy these "Slimmer Shorts" from Carol Wright Gifts, not only will you lose
weight, you'll also get larger breasts, a perkier nose and a stylish new
hairdo. What a deal!
You've reached the end. What to do, What to do?
Well, you could return to the Irregular
Times Home Page.
Or you could Give us
your feedback!
Or maybe you could take your finger and
move it in between your lips real fast so that it makes a sound like
"brbabrbabrbabrbabrba". Once you've gotten the hang of it, try it out on
your friends! I'm sure they'll appreciate it. Next, your neighbors and
coworkers.If you're really adventurous, you could
try "brbabrbabrbabrbabrba"-ing to complete strangers on the
street. Why, in no time "brbabrbabrbabrbabrba"-ing
could become a nationwide craze! Yeah, that's what you can do.
On the other hand, you might want to buck the trends, and instead of passively receiving the content that other people produce, you might create something of your own, then submit it to us for our review for publication on Irregular Times
