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Intentional Misreading, Traffic Edition

The sign does not raise a merely hypothetical concern.

Thank goodness that expectations have been made clear. Fortunately, parking on pickup trucks seems to be okay. Parking on mushroom motorcycles would also be acceptable.

What Do You Know? (Open Thread)

We spend a lot of time here at Irregular Times sharing what we’ve learned — but we have a lot to learn, too. So tonight I’m turning the tables:

What do you know that needs to be shared?

Post a comment here with a tip, a link, or a piece of wisdom. My eyes are [...]

Invaluable Advice from our Civic Leaders

Ah, yes. Thank you, town elders. I have to admit I’ve made the mistake myself. In my foolish youth I often smoked cigarettes while lying down. No, I say to America’s youth, no longer. This practice shall not continue for another generation! The coals and ash will only fall in your eyes! Sit up [...]

Context Matters: Distracted Driving Kills

Stuck in a long line of non-moving traffic today, it occurred to me that this sign would mean something different entirely if a number replaced the icon at the top.

The Baby Names of 2013 That Weren’t

The Social Security Administration has released the top 1000 girls’ and boys’ names for 2013.  Not among them:

Osama Atilla Adolph Vlad Caligula Idi Pol

And while Monica remains in the top 1000 names for girls, every year since, well, herm, the name Monica has become less popular.  Last year Monica sunk from its early [...]

Don’t Get Anxious About Cat Accidents!

A Twitter user who posts under the pseudonym Psychonautic Express warns that, “The more tense you are during a cat accident, the more injury you will incur.”

I’ll try to remember that the next time it looks like I’m heading for an accident involving a cat.

Me-ow!

[...]

Life is Too Short Too Live With Aaaaaaaaaa…

Life is too short to live with regrets.

— Drizzy (@lDrake_YMCMB) April 25, 2014

You know, I wish I had said that first, because aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa….

Wiggle Javelin

“At my nativity the front of heaven was full of fiery shapes, of burning cressets; and at my birth the frame and huge foundation of the earth shaked like a coward.”

William Shakespeare was born 450 years ago today.

How You Can Tell Who The Superheroes Are

Secret identity, schmecret identity. How can you tell who the Lone Ranger, the Phantom, Batman, Daredevil and Green Lantern really are?

Tan lines on the face.

That is all.

My Pants Remind People of Sailboats

When I look at these pants, I am reminded of the many other ways I could have spent $129 sailboats. They look just like an upper-class twit sailboats!

Sailboats!

The Permanent Embarrassment’s