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Category Archives: Homeland Insecurity

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Peace Breaks Out!

Today at Chicago’s O’Hare airport, peace broke out, catching thousands of travelers by surprise. There were no terrorist attacks, or bomb threats, or mass shootings. People just went about their lives. Initial reports indicate that everyone involved survived the ordeal. Ted Cruz, who asserts that,

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Jet Blue Is Human Kinda After All

JetBlue public relations asks workers, “What’s wrong with you, being so busy all the time? Why can’t you relax and just take the day off?”

Jet Blue bosses tell workers, “I don’t care if you’re sick. Get back to work! You don’t want to have an Employment Review, do you?”

Psst... what kind of person doesn't support pacifism?

Fight the Republican beast!