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What every spaceship needs: a self-distract button

The example of movie after movie should give clear guidance to astrophysical engineers.  Time and again Our Hero manages to keep the spaceship Galactro, or Phaeson, or Whatever, from destroying itself with only 3 seconds to spare.  Why?  Because somebody put their coffee mug on the self-destruct button, and Our Hero must race to the […]

Success!

From the University of North Georgia Spring 2015 Professional and Continuing Education Catalog…

Why follow when you can coast to victory using your white male privilege?

Mark Trail by James Allen and Me

[…]

Proverbs 30:5 is Flawless Flawless Flawless

“Every word of God is flawless” — Proverbs 30:5

My word, it’s true.

The Ent Is Near

Beware! The ent is near. […]

Seagram’s Uterus

I am apparently the first person in the world to notice the fallopian and uterine nature of this bottlecap from Seagram’s. My momma always told me I’d be first in something.

State Of The Union Address Bingo Cards For 2015

Tonight is the State of the Union Address, and here at Irregular Times, we have a tradition of playing State Of The Union Bingo. We hand out bingo cards that we’ve made just for the occasion, and wait for the President to utter the phrases that appear in each square. A penny is then laid […]

Willful Misinterpretation of a Diner Mat

So that’s where they come from.

I kind of would hope that they might sleep now and then.

But I don’t want a headache.

Small business + Rural area = Wide range of products. I miss Oriental Rugs and Fiddles.

Groovy. Messy.

[…]

Christmas Emoticons for the Whole Family

¯¯\____(ツ)____/¯¯ What to get the Tetrarch who has everything. X * *** ***o* \ / ***o*** \ / (X╭╮X) *****o*** (-╭╮-) Uncle Bill and Uncle Ted still won’t talk to each other. **O*****o** **o****O***o* *******o**o**** **O**o********O** ******o**O*****o*** ! ! ____!_!____ \_________/ ____ | | _|__|_ (..) () Snowman tried liposuction against advice. ( ) >}:-)____? […]

Sony Hacks Ethics Scandal Embroils Deputy General Counsel

Sony Deputy General Counsel John Fukunaga has so far declined to comment about an ethics scandal revealed in emails linked by a shadowy group calling itself Guardians of Peace. The emails suggest that Fukunaga may have knowingly violated Sony corporate policy by checking his Facebook account while officially on the clock.

Furthermore, Fukunaga appears to […]

Remembering Peyton Manning’s Historic 509th Touchdown Pass

Dateline: Peyton Manning Museum, Manning City, October 19, 2034

Oliver Sutton hobbled slightly as he made his way to his digital trunk to look through his records of this historic day. “I’ve got it here somewhere,” he promised me as he used his electro stylus to rummage through the virtual box.

A few minutes later […]