Enter your email address to subscribe to Irregular Times and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Join 313 other subscribers

Irregular Times Newsletters

Click here to subscribe to any or all of our six topical e-mail newsletters:
  1. Social Movement Actions,
  2. Credulity and Faith,
  3. Election News,
  4. This Week in Congress,
  5. Tech Dispatch and
  6. our latest Political Stickers and Such

Contact Us

We can be contacted via retorts@irregulartimes.com

A Petition For Planetary Liberation

These are dangerous times.

The Cobra Resistance warns us that “there are forces within the banking establishment, military-industrial complex and also on the non-physical planes that do not wish humanity to be free. They have stolen our money. They have poisoned our food. They are trying to take away our freedom. They are trying to [...]

God Crashes Truck into Baltimore TV Station and Is Barricaded Inside

I have found God!

The Boston Globe is reporting that God has stolen a landscaping truck and driven it through the glass windows of the lobby of the headquarters of ABC TV affiliate WMAR in Baltimore, Maryland. God, wearing a backpack, then left the truck and forced His way into the WMAR news studio, where [...]

Bernie Sanders / Bank Of America 2016 Big Data Running Mates For The White House

Bernard Sanders is a frequent critic of Bank of America. So, the senator’s own Twitter feed, as well as Twitter feeds of his supporters, often include the phrase “Bank of America”. Twitter’s predictive system is too stupid, however, to notice that Sanders and his fans are describing Bank of America as heartless, corrupt, abusive, and vile. [...]

How No Screen Week Worked For Me

You may not have heard, but this week was Screen-Free Week – an observance to deal with the growing length of Screen Time. It seems that, year after year, the climate in which we are raising their kids has been supporting a longer period of screen use.

I remember fondly the days when I was [...]

Gay Marriage Causes Plague of Beets!

You can’t blame me for saying that gay people getting married are ruining life for the rest of us by unleashing a flood of salaciously purple root vegetables that nobody really wants to eat in the first place. [...]

Don’t Get Anxious About Cat Accidents!

A Twitter user who posts under the pseudonym Psychonautic Express warns that, “The more tense you are during a cat accident, the more injury you will incur.”

I’ll try to remember that the next time it looks like I’m heading for an accident involving a cat.

Me-ow!

[...]

No Farms No Slogans

For years, I’ve seen the No Farms No Food bumper sticker, and wondered what the message was trying to get at. Sure, we need farmers to grow ingredients for food, but that’s such a general need, it’s difficult to get worked up about. Food is good, but it’s when I picture particular foods that I [...]

Will There Be a Terrorist Attack At Moogfest?

Today sees the beginning of Moogfest down in Ashville, North Carolina. It’s a multi-day event that synthesizes the intersection of technology and art.

Moogfest sounds like a lot of fun. Yet, according to one conspiracy theorist, the festival could become a bloodbath.

David Chase Taylor, who writes under the pseudonym “Truther”, warns that “there is [...]

If We Came From Apes, Then Come And Answer This Question, Smartypants!

The Seneca Bible Baptist Church, outside of Seneca Falls in upstate New York, has issued a challenge to all the secular eggheads in the area, their neighbors who actually believe in the theory of biological evolution through natural selection as proposed by the original Darwinist, Charles Darwin. The church has posted the sign you see [...]

You Great Big Samsung Rebel You

You are a rebel. You are such a big rebel that you don’t even know what kind of rebel you are. You just rebel against… stuff… by perpetrating a sort rebelliosity… involving pouting your lips. Why, if you weren’t so busy tapping the screen of your Samsung Galaxy smart phone, you would be standing in [...]

Apply Reality With Herbal Remedies For A Cut Finger

What is a wounded person supposed to do in wintertime, when all the plants listed here are dormant, without fresh leaves or flower petals? Are they advised to walk south until they reach Florida? [...]