President-Vice-President Dick Cheney put his foot down yesterday, telling an assembly of reporters that environmentalists have gone too far. As chair of the White House energy task force, he says that the current energy crisis demands that we burn more fossil fuels instead of trying to conserve them. Conservation, he suggests, is an outdated, 1970s-era idea. To replace energy conservation, Cheney promotes burning more coal. Apparently Cheney believes that burning coal is just the kind of new idea we need in this new century.
Is conservation a relic of the 1970s? Well, it is true that research for efficient energy technology never recovered from the blow it received when Ronald Reagan slashed its federal budget down to practically nothing in 1980. Cheney was a prominent Republican even back in those times, having served in the cabinet of Gerald Ford, so he should have a pretty good memory of what really caused energy efficiency to die in the early 1980s.
The question is, if Cheney doesn't want the country to follow what he characterizes as the 1970s-era idea of conservation, what does he propose instead? The answer is quite obvious: Cheney and his protege George W. Bush want to go beyond the ideas of the 1970s, way back to the ideas of the 1950s. Think about the tone Cheney and Bush have set just in their first three months:
Conservatives like Dick Cheney and George W. Bush may accuse environmentalists of being old-fashioned for holding onto ideas like conservation and clean air, but it's the Republican Party that really knows how to think behind the times. All of the ideas that Cheney and Bush bring to the White House are nothing more than 1950s rehash. They're so busy watching Leave-It-To-Beaver reruns that they've overlooked all the problems that their 1950s-era ideas brought along with them: no civil rights protection for huge portions of the population, an epidemic of women AND fetuses dying as a result of secret botched abortions, the increasing risk of nuclear annihilation, a culture of conformism lacking in innovation and the foundation for environmental disasters that would take decades to bring under control. With Bush and Cheney, all the old problems are new again. Are you ready for a return to the bad old days?
Additional absurdities straight from His Majesty's Royal T-ball Field can also be found at the official website of The Ribald Reign of King George the Second.
Absurd times call for Absurd poetry. Check out Bush Haiku.
These aren't just absurd times, they're irregular times.
Irregular Times require backtalk. So talk back to us!