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irregular times logoThe Creed of Liberty

In a sane time, the following Creed of Liberty would not need to be said outright. But our times are not sane. Enough said.

The Creed of Liberty

Don't like gays? Don't sleep with them.

Don't like gay marriage? Don't have one.

Don't like swinging? Don't swing.

Don't like adultery? Don't cheat on your spouse.

Don't like adulterers? Don't stay married to one.

Don't like Jews? Don't go to synagogue.

Don't like atheists? Don't stop praying.

Don't like Christmas? Don't celebrate it.

Don't like Halloween? Don't celebrate it.

Don't like Spanish? Don't speak it.

Don't like the French? Don't talk to them.

Don't like French fries? Don't eat them.

Don't like children? Don't have one.

Don't like abortions? Don't have one.

Don't like euthanasia? Don't ask to have your plug pulled.

Don't like plastic surgery? Don't have any.

Don't like swear words? Don't say them.

Don't like nose rings? Don't get one.

Don't like long-haired men? Don't date one.

Don't like hairy-legged women? Don't date one.

Don't like comb-overs? Don't get one.

Don't like public breastfeeding? Don't breastfeed in public.

Don't like cross-dressers? Don't cross-dress.

Don't like underwear? Don't wear it.

Don't like gambling? Don't gamble.

Don't like drugs? Don't take them.

Don't like Republicans? Don't vote for one.

Don't like leftists? Don't agree with them.

Don't like Black Studies classes? Don't take one.

Don't like flags? Don't fly them.

Don't like flag-burning? Don't burn one.

Don't like conspiracy theories? Don't subscribe to one.

Don't like democracy? Don't vote.

Don't like public schools? Don't go to them.

Don't like jazz? Don't listen to it.

Don't like white shoes after Labor Day? Don't wear them.

Don't like doilies with your tea? Don't use them.

Don't like whiners? Don't whine.

Don't like this creed? Don't read it.

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