I walk the line

March 2006
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It had to happen of course. Last September the college decided I’d been around long enough to deserve a raise and regular hours. This meant, according to the wonderful woman who has guided me through the maddening administrative details of my job, that I would now be under the union. “Great,” I said. “Just watch, in six months time they’ll have me on strike.”

That was six months ago and in about ten minutes I have to leave so I can go to the campus, pick up my sign, and start my third day on the picket line.

I always choose the same sign: “Faculty care about quality education.” I like it because as an English teacher I enjoy the irony. First is the irony of caring so much about education that we are willing to strip it away from the students at the very end of their academic year, and second is the irony of the grammatical mistake in a sign proclaiming concern over quality education. Each evening I correct my own sign to read: “Faculty cares about quality education.”

When dealing with mass idiocy it is important to amuse yourself in little ways.

Gotta go. I’m due on the line.

Date: March 10, 2006

Author: Christopher

Categories: general

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(504 votes, average: 3.06 out of 5)

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jim

in March 10th, 2006 @ 17:58

Christopher,

Out of curiosity, what position do you have at this college? Is the pay for your position higher than the pay for the same or similar positions at colleges in states where the staff is not unionized?
Layla

in March 10th, 2006 @ 22:41

I was hoping someone would provide me with a good laugh today, but when you corrected the grammar on the picket sign, I fell off my chair. Fortunately I was forewarned, forearmed and firmly replanted on the chair when I spotted the pun in the title.

Just out of curiosity, I taught a TOEFFL prep course at an institute in the Middle East (they have to take the test for college entrance if English is not their first language). The use of singular for most nouns representing groups was one of the most difficult lessons for my Arab students, who learn British English. Apparently in the British system the plural is correct most often, but in American English the singular is usually correct.

Jim, in the last week I have been quoted $17/hr for ESL in a branch of a black community college in a Hispanic neighborhood and $1200/semester for a liberal arts class in a state university in a black neighborhood–the cheapest one in the state, I’m sure. Assuming 3 hr/wk for 18 weeks would be $22/hr. I’m pretty sure both schools are union, probably AFSCME.
Christopher

in March 11th, 2006 @ 13:29

Jim: I’m not sure that question could be answered — there are too many variables. However, I have been assured by my fellow strikers that this strike is not about pay: it’s about quality of education. We don’t want more money, we want smaller classes and more time for preparation. When I suggest that by taking the 12.4% wage increase over 4 years off the table we could possibly free up enough money to improve the quality of education, they stop walking with me.

In truth, it isn’t the issues that bother me — it’s the extreme of resorting to a strike. Whether the union is right or wrong, surely there is some way of resolving the issue without destroying thousands of lives. For many, many students this is their one opportunity to get a job that doesn’t require them uttering the phrase “do you want fries with that?” They’re not trying to become high-status professionals: they’re trying to become dental technicians and medical administrator assistants. If they can’t graduate this year, they’ll never have the chance again.

There are also all the people connected to the colleges. In all likelihood, the photocopying place which serves the professors will have to lay people off. Cafeteria staff, maintenance staff — hell, even the hot dog vendor who has a little hutch outside the front doors is worrying how he’s going to make ends meet.

And then there are the professors themselves. We just moved in December which ate away every penny we had. We’d just started to get back on our feet when my wife’s mother died and our share of the expences knocked us back again. Immediately following the funeral came the strike. There is a strong probablility we will now lose our new apartment in the next couple of months, and yet not have the money to move to a new one.

The big lesson from all this? When someone says they have your best interest at heart — run!
Christopher

in March 11th, 2006 @ 13:34

Layla said: The use of singular for most nouns representing groups was one of the most difficult lessons for my Arab students, who learn British English. Apparently in the British system the plural is correct most often, but in American English the singular is usually correct.

I’m not quite understanding. Do you mean that the British use collective nouns as plural?

The problem I run across is trying to explain the proper use (and non-use) of articles to East Asian students who don’t have a parallel grammatical unit in their language. Prepositions in relation to time can also be fun: You meet someone at three o’clock on the hour … etc.
The Gall

in March 11th, 2006 @ 18:17

Fish swim.
Buffalo run.
Faculty care?
Layla

in March 11th, 2006 @ 21:13

Christopher,
Of course it’s about money. See 2nd Commandment Part B. I wouldn’t walk with you either. When the CC here had a strike some of the non-union instructors were extremely distressed about crossing a picket line, and after teaching their own classes, joined the picket with the union teachers. The elementary and high school strikes are all settled before the classes start (usually); it’s all political moves, and everyone knows how to play their part and how the dance will end. Nobody’s lives are destroyed; it all comes out in the wash. Administration is personally sympathetic; they live in the community too and even have children. They know you can’t keep good teachers if you don’t pay them decently.

Some quick examples from the internet of the differences between American and British collective nouns: “The government is..” (Am.) and “The government are…” (Br.) Also: “ the company is/the company are…” Or, “Sony are going to come out with a new computer chip.”(Br.) And for sports teams: “The Miami Heat is a hardworking team,” “Liverpool are a hardworking team, but Manchester are smarter.”

For a discussion of the plural use of the noun “staff” see http://www.pearsoned-esl.com/ae/azar/grammar_ex/message_board/archive/articles/00360.html Just in case you meet the person who authored your union sign and it turns out to be the same one who decides on your tenure.

For tutoring grammar I like the Murphy series. The silver is the first level. http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0521426065/qid=1142124381/sr=1-4/ref=sr_1_4/104-7814114-6398346?s=books&v=glance&n=283155

Gall,
Buffalo graze. Faculty…
If an instructor gets $400 a month for one class, what kind of housing does this pay for? (Clue: don’t give up your day job.) It also means you’re doing class prep on the night you don’t teach, which means you don’t get a personal life. I think they might do it because they care. Uh, let’s start over. The committee plans, the government goes into debt, the army marches on its stomach, the faculty…oh shit. Here’s a discussion of British usage based on context which often indicates whether the group or the individuals within it are being referred to: http://alt-usage-english.org/intro_d.shtml#Groupn0004
Christopher

in March 12th, 2006 @ 16:16

$400 a month for a class? These guys need to go on strike!

No, seriously. My wife teaches a class at the same college I do, but she’s not in the union. Her pay is at the bottom of the non-union scale and she makes $600 a month. That’s still not enough to live on, but I don’t know anyone who would expect a full living wage from teaching one three-hour class for one day a week. I’m at the bottom end of the union scale and teach four classes. For this I make $960 a week or $3840 a month. Not bad.

Yes, part of a quality education involves paying teachers enough, but the college teachers in Ontario are among the highest paid in Canada. Nor do I object to increasing the wage and lowering the work load – in fact, I was one of the ones who voted to reject the government’s original offer, having been assured that the union response would be flexible: in other words, that they would look at options such as work-to-rule, work slowdowns, and even “sick” days, saving an actual strike only for dire emergencies.

This issue is not a dire emergency. The colleges are not crumbling, the teachers are not starving. The ones I have talked to are concerned that an extended strike may interfere with their vacation plans this summer – not with their housing conditions. The only reason I’m in real financial distress is because when I started teaching more or less full time (I’m called “partial load”) we moved out of our one bedroom basement apartment into a two bedroom apartment with ceilings tall enough to allow me to go from room to room without banging my head. The move drained our account and just as it was beginning to build up again my wife’s mother died leaving us with unexpected expenses for the funeral.

It is the hypocrisy that gets me. If we’re going to strike for more pay, let’s strike for more pay – let’s not cloak it in self-righteousness: it’s not like we’re fooling anyone. I’ve been in these classes – a lot. For several years I worked as a computerized notetaker for the deaf: I would go into a class with my laptop and type what the teacher said while my deaf student read from the screen. Glancing quickly at my “notetaking” directories I see I’ve been in over 50 classes, some more than once. The greatest majority of these classes were poorly taught with rapid-paced PowerPoint presentations replacing any actual teaching, and questions answered by referring the students to their texts. If we want to improve the quality of education the classes we already have would be a very good start.

As for lives being destroyed – I assure you, they are. I’ve met them from previous strikes. I have students in my own classes who have worked at menial jobs for years saving everything they can in order to get this one chance to become a dental technician or medical administrative assistant. They can’t afford to have their academic year extended (should that be an option to make up for the time lost to the strike) because they need the summers to get work. For many it will be the final blow. My own future is shaky since if this strike goes on I will lose my apartment, yet not be able to gather up the money necessary for a new apartment and to pay moving expenses.

I agree the government negotiated in bad faith, as though it were daring the union to call a strike. I’m no friend to the other side of this issue and, overall, believe in the causes for which we’re fighting; but being right about who was at fault in a traffic accident doesn’t give you the right to shoot innocent bystanders in the feet.
Christopher

in March 12th, 2006 @ 16:18

Okay, thanks for the clarification, Layla. I am aware of this odd distinction between the British and American treatment of collective nouns, but the standard here is to treat them as singular.

There are obvious exceptions even here. I would say, “The Toronto Symphony Orchestra is playing tonight,” even through there are dozens of people in it. Likewise, I would say, “INXS is coming to town”; but I’d use the plural form of the verbs for groups like The Rolling Stones because saying “The Rolling Stones is on tour” just sounds wrong. An example in one of your links mentions the sentence: “The football team are taking showers… .” Interestingly enough, if we remove the word “football,” the plural form of the verb doesn’t seem to fit as easily: “The team are taking showers…. ” At least it sounds wrong to my ear. In general, I still prefer the singular form, and if we want to deal with the members of the collective noun individually, we rearrange the sentence to conform to it. For instance, I wouldn’t say either “the team is taking showers” or “the team are taking showers.” I would say, “the players are taking showers.”

If you’ll notice, the collective nouns given in the above comments (“fish swim” etc.) are all equally employable as plural nouns (split infinitives don’t bother me). We don’t say “I caught two fishes today,” or “There are thirteen buffaloes in my bedroom” because the words “fish” and “buffalo” can also be used as plurals. We do, however, say things like, “The faculties from all three colleges held a pancake breakfast for Shrove Tuesday” – providing, of course, that the faculties really did hold a pancake breakfast for Shrove Tuesday. To me, “faculty” is like “committee” and I ain’t going to use either as a plural. (And did you note how cleverly I used “ain’t” in it’s proper grammatical form?)

I’ll grant that there is enough dispute about this issue to warrant some degree of flexibility (I stopped correcting the signs anyway since there’s only so much amusement that sort of thing can bring before it tips over to vaguely disturbing obsession). I’m not too much of a hard-liner on grammar in the first place. I want it to be correct, but also know that for every grammatical question there are three to five good authorities who will give two to seven different answers.
Layla

in March 13th, 2006 @ 15:03

When I first read the content of your sign, my eye stopped and thought there was something wrong with the grammar. I looked at is again and decided it was correct. Then, when you corrected the sign, I didn’t know what was your criteria. So I would go with “faculty care,” but it still sounds odd enough to make me stop and think about whether it’s right. To me it is most similar to the word “staff” in the examples. Staff eat in the break room. Students park in the west parking lot but staff park on the north side of the building. Substitute faculty and it still sounds correct to me.

I didn’t realize you were Canadian, that makes it different. In my ESL certification course, there were two guys in the back row who disagreed with everyone else about the exact dipthong in a certain series of words. It turned out they were from Wisconsin and everyone else was from Minnesota or Illinois. I have always thought Canadian English was the same as American English, but if Wisconsin can be so different, I think as a native speaker you are in a position to make some judgments.

Split infinitives are not a big deal anymore here since Star Trek, “to boldly go where no ONE has gone before”. The gender neutrality is a biggie though, and you will hear people correcting verbally in church. Where the ritual text says “he that comes in the name of the lord” the congregation will be saying “the one that comes in the name of the lord.”

So this guy is lost on campus and puts his head into someone’s office and asks “Do you know where the English Department is at?” The guy in the office looks up from his desk and says,”It is incorrect to end a sentence with a preposition.” So the guy replies, “All right, do you know where the English department is at, asshole?”
Christopher

in March 15th, 2006 @ 15:11

My only objection to the Star Trek intro is that the new version, while more sensitive to gender issues, is now incorrect. The old line, “To boldly go where no man has gone before,” indicated that no human had visited these regions of space. Since they were out there to “to seek out new life and new civilizations” it was assumed that they would find other beings. The new line, “To boldly go where no one has gone before,” is disproved each time they meet a new race.

As for prepositions — because their function is so overwhelmingly that of an introduction (the “pre” in preposition), they do tend to leave you hanging when placed at the end of a sentence. However (and in grammar there are always “howevers”), to stick blindly to this rule is often to create unnecessarily stiff and awkward sentences. U2′s song would have to be changed to: “I still haven’t found that for which I am looking.” Just not the same.

My favourite story on this subject is the one most commonly associated with Churchill. Upon being scolded for ending a sentence with a preposition he is said to have replied, “This is the sort of pedantry up with which I will not put.”

Oh, and you know of course I’m stealing your campus joke for my next semester.
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in October 3rd, 2006 @ 10:46

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jim

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