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Yellowstone is going to explode and cover us in hot ash!

Remember when I said that this kind of super explosion takes place at Yellowstone every 600,000 years or so? Well, guess how many years it's been since the last explosion?

I just read that Yellowstone National Park sits on top of a seismic hotspot. Essentially, the whole park is one big caldera. That’s why there are all those hot springs and mud pots and geysers. It’s no accident!

Apparently, every 600,000 years or so, the Yellowstone volcano starts to swell upwards, and then suddenly explodes in a gigantic cataclysm the likes of which is unrecorded in human history. One of these explosions was 200,000 times stronger than the Mt. St. Helens eruption. That Yellowstone eruption sent so much ash into the sky that the Earth was darkened for six whole years!

Remember when I said that this kind of super explosion takes place at Yellowstone every 600,000 years or so? Well, guess how many years it’s been since the last explosion?

630,000 years. It could happen any minute now! Scalding hot ash is going to fill the skies and then freeze us solid and we’ll all be fighting over the last few Snickers bars we have stockpiled to eat and we’re all gonna die!

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Date: June 11, 2006

Author: Disaster Dan

Categories: environment, general, science

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(553 votes, average: 3.10 out of 5)

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Comments RSS TrackBack 14 comments

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  Space Observer

  in June 11th, 2006 @ 15:47

  Danny,

  It looks like once again you have discovered a huge government coverup. The Yellowstone Volcano Oservatory has not even issued so much as an orange alert for the cataclysmic event you describe. Here is what they say:

  Yellowstone is currently at the alert level, NORMAL (Typical background activity of a volcano in a non-eruptive state), and Aviation Color Code GREEN (Volcano is in normal, non-eruptive state.).

  http://volcanoes.usgs.gov/yvo/index.html

  But wait. You didn’t do the math right.

  The caldera-forming eruption that created the volcanic deposit known as the Huckleberry Ridge Tuff happened 2.1 million years ago. The next eruption that created the Mesa Falls Tuff happened 1.3 million years ago. That’s an interval of 800,000 years. The third and last eruption that created the Lava Creek Tuff happened 640,000 years ago, not 630,000 as you claim. That’s an interval of 660,000 years. So, depending on which interval you use for your baseline, we still have either 20,000 or 160,000 years left to go before the Big One.

  You weren’t nice enough to provide a link, but here it is for you.
  http://pubs.usgs.gov/fs/2005/3024/

  You might want to check the expiration date on those Snickers bars to see if they will last 20,000 years. Depending on what city you have them stockpiled in, I may be able to help you evaluate them in person.

  What really keeps me awake at night is the possiblity of a recurrence of the Kankakee Earthquake/Flood that changed the entire course of major riverbeds and nearly wiped out the cactus population of the midwest.

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  pokerchampion

  in June 15th, 2006 @ 18:31

  I’m more worried about the last alien invasion that replaced Al Gore and Ralph Nader with pod people, thereby ensuring our destruction at the hands of imbecile monkeys with their finger on the button.

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  Julia

  in July 16th, 2006 @ 14:02

  Methinks DD has been reading Bryson’s fun little factoid book…

  Fascinating stuff, but I am willing to admit that I like Space Observer’s comforting 20,000 year grace period…

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  Space Observer

  in July 16th, 2006 @ 21:15

  Oh, HO. Might this be Bill Bryson’s 500-page “A short history of nearly everything,” which science-minded readers found neither short nor historical, full of errors and misunderstandings, the author having admitted in a New Scientist interview that he didn’t really understand what all those scientists were telling him, and that some readers preferred James Burke’s “Connections”???

  http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/076790818X/sr=8-1/qid=1153100635/ref=pd_bbs_1/102-4744107-6630560?ie=UTF8

  Busted! But wait. I suspect, however that Danny has a significant quantity of chocolate stashed away somewhere for Ragnorok, in which case I’m willing to continue to play along.

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• 

  Tianca

  in January 4th, 2007 @ 00:34

  It seems you are right, Yellowstone is getting ready to blow. And you certainly won’t hear it in the news. How do you evacuate the whole of the USA?
  The only way to be safe from this one is to leave the planet, and watch from the safety of a starship. That’s where I plan on going! Can you say; “Trigger to start a pole shift?”
  Yep, Yellowstone is going to blow big this time, and shift the whole planet. This is what is called a Cleansing, and it has happened before.
  Don’t panic, evacuation will happen. When they get you up on the starship and ask if you want to stay, tell them YES!!! To go back down to the planet is to die, painfully.
  Tianca

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• 

  Disaster Dan

  in January 8th, 2007 @ 06:02

  Tianca, thanks for the warning. I know that your sources, who own a starship, must remain secret. Vigilance against intergalactic volcanic threats! Vigilance!

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  Pyschicpaul

  in February 28th, 2007 @ 14:40

  Yellowstone will blow in 2008-09

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  Jenny

  in November 8th, 2007 @ 18:27

  What can we do about it? It’s scary, but if you have no solutions why try to freak other people out, too?

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  Disaster Dan

  in November 8th, 2007 @ 22:09

  Yes, they scoff. They laughed at me. They called me crazy for my hypotheses about sea cucumber attacks, but now they’re coming to me and asking me for advice. Don’t worry. I’ll give it:

  Invest in a set of sturdy shovels, because you’re going to have to dig yourself out from a lot of ash and pumice, my dear.

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• Irregular Times Diaries: Unfit Discussion » Blog Archive » No One’s Laughing At Disaster Dan Now

  in November 9th, 2007 @ 07:17

  [...] New Scientist is reporting that the collosal volcano underneath Yellowstone National Park has begun to swell, and swell, lifting the entire land up, as a gigantic mass of molten rock rises, as a bubble of death, toward the surface. It’s just like I said it would happen. [...]

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  Crafty

  in November 30th, 2007 @ 18:05

  Toss some Tums down Old Faithful or a mudpot and pat yourself on the back; you did your good deed for the day!

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• Irregular Times Diaries: Unfit Discussion » Blog Archive » Yellowstone Preparing To Explode!

  in December 31st, 2008 @ 15:38

  [...] long ago I predicted that the volcanic foundations of Yellowstone National Park would explode, covering the United States in burning hot ash. Did anyone listen? No. In return for my warning, I [...]

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  shelleyah

  in December 14th, 2010 @ 12:32

  wh dont you guys quit trying too scare people because your scaring the ba jesus outta me.! and when do you think its going too blow?>

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  Alex

  in April 20th, 2011 @ 22:13

  wow are you serous……. 600,000 years ago…….. u make me chuckle, what liars……………………

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