This will Make You Whizz!
In response to USMARINE’s plagiarized “Make You Think”:
This’ll make ya stop & take a whizz!
Your alarm goes off, you hit your kid in the mouth instead of the snooze button, and go back to sleep.
She’s been cleaning out toilets at no charge since 3 this morning.
You drink coffee sitting in your comfortable chair in the suburbs.
She can’t drink coffee. It makes her indigestion flare up.
You complain of a “headacheâ€, and don’t sleep with your significant other for a month.
Headache? She wishes she just had a headache! With that ear infection and that funny feeling in her tooth, things just haven’t been the same since 1987.
You put on your conservative christian conformist polo shirt, and go meet up with your lily white congregation.
While you’re walking in, she notices that your polo shirt has tomato sauce on it.
You make sure your cell phone is in your pocket.
She clutches the satanic emblem she had branded above her left nipple last month. Damn, but it still hurts.
You talk trash on your “buddies” that haven’t shown up for the Wayne County Republican Party Steering Committee Meeting for two months in a row.
She knows that you went down on your “buddies” last week in the rec room.
You walk down the beach, thinking about how much your conservative ideals make you want to rob people.
She was robbed just last week by a conservative meanie just like you.
You complain about how hot it is.
“Hot?” she says. “Well, it isn’t the heat so much as the humidity, is it, and let me tell you it has been so humid here that I don’t think I can get out of the house, but I do have to feed those 300 homeless kids down at the shelter.”
You go out to lunch, and complain because the restaurant sent you a Mexican waiter.
She kisses Mexicans waiters.
Your Mexican maid makes your bed and washes your clothes. Then you fire her and report her to the INS.
She teaches Mexican maids English as a Second Language.
You go to the mall and buy a “What Would Jesus Do?” bumper sticker, and run over a bunny rabbit on the way.
She makes bumper stickers using her leftover fingernail clippings, and gives all the proceeds to kids with leukemia.
You voted for George W. Bush, and sent him an illegal campaign contribution.
She votes Green Party all the way and has perfect white teeth.
You kick babies.
She loves babies.
Your kids are healthy and have a big trust fund.
Her kids are afflicted with chronic diseases affecting every major organ system.
You make jokes about Green Party voters.
She has to collect her own urine for some obscure medical reason.
You see only what the media wants you to see.
She sees the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth!
You are asked to save the little baby rabbits in the path of the lawn mower. You don’t.
She saves baby rabbits, all righty.
You sit there and judge her, saying that people who help people are stupid fucking idiots. Then you hit your mom in the teeth with a tire iron.
If only there were more Green Party voters like her.
If you love babies and the little fluffy bunnies repost this.
If you don’t repost this, you hate babies and the little fluffy bunnies.
(495 votes, average: 2.93 out of 5)
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