Irregular Times Diaries: Unfit Discussion

There’s news today that some people are accepting as a confirmation of global warming. Others of us, however, are willing to look beneath this superficial interpretation, and see what’s really going on up at high altitudes.

Experts say that the Aletsch glacier in Switzerland is retreating, and fast. For example, Laudo Albrecht of the environmentalist group Pronatura says, “It should retreat, but not so fast. The glacier is in rapid retreat.”

These environmentalists purport to have some explanations about why the glacier is retreating, but I never hear them really ask the question that would provide a reasonable description of what’s going on. Sure, the Aletsch glacier is retreating, but these so-called experts never ask what the Aletsch glacier is retreating from.

If these people would look at the map of the region around the glacier, they would see the answer right away. Look at the map yourself, and you’ll see, clearly marked, the word “Munster”. As everyone knows, munster is the Swiss word for monster. The Aletsch glacier is retreating from a monster. Well, wouldn’t you?

What is this monster like? We can’t say, because the environmentalists are keeping it secret from us. They’re afraid that if the world knows what is really causing the Aletsch glacier to retreat, they’ll realize that global warming is just a conspiracy theory dreamed up to conceal the presence of monsters lurking below glaciers around the world.