Irregular Times Diaries: Unfit Discussion
In a time of the spring, old paths are obscured and new growth begins.
Irregular Times Diaries: Unfit DiscussionIn a time of the spring, old paths are obscured and new growth begins.
Deep down in the most patriotic bones of my body, I feel betrayed by God tonight. I thought, as George W. Bush said, that God was on our side in the struggle against evildoers. Now I can see that God is nothing more than another Islamofascist!
I was reading my Holy Bible, which all American patriots must do, when I found a disturbing, anti-American verse in the book of Leviticus. Take a look at what it says:
“These are they which ye shall have in abomination among the fowls; they shall not be eaten, they are an abomination: the eagle..”
God is saying that eagles are abominations! As Stephen Colbert has rightly showed us all, anyone who loves the American bald eagle is a good, patriotic citizen. It logically follows that if someone does not love the American bald eagle is anti-patriotic and anti-American.
Here is Biblical proof that God hates all eagles! He calls them an abomination!
George W. Bush spoke the truth when he said, “If you’re not with us, you’re against us!” We see that God hates eagles, and therefore stands against America.
We all know who stands against America. It’s the evildoers - in other words, the Islamofascists! Thus, I have arrived at the unavoidable conclusion that God is an Islamofascist!
Why did God attack America on September 11, 2001? Why does God hate America?
(105 votes, average: 2.78 out of 5)
Top Two Articles Last Week
Irregular Times
New Button Designs
68 queries. 0.734 seconds
November 2nd, 2007 at 1:26 am
Why you poor thing, you’ve read the silly text the wrong way. It says the eagles shall not be EATEN. That means God meant for the Eagles to be a Protected Species and for America to be a Protected Nation.
Don’t you feel better already?
Now say your prayers and sleep tight.
November 2nd, 2007 at 7:22 am
So, an abomination is a good thing?
November 2nd, 2007 at 8:18 am
An abomination is a very bad thing, but only if you eat it or if you touch the carcass. So you shouldn’t even kill the eagle for sport, because if you touch the carcass and you are a nice Jewish boy, you will become unclean and have to do some purifying ritual.
In fact, the Bible likes eagles very much and says we can be like eagles:
So there. God bless America and rid us of the infernal Military Commissions Act.
November 2nd, 2007 at 8:44 am
So, having a bunch of abominations flying around is okay?
That Bible quote you offer only says that eagles are good runners, which is not true, and that they can walk without fainting, which may be true, but is quite faint
praise.
November 2nd, 2007 at 10:36 am
Do try to concentrate, jclifford. It says the eagles mount up with wings. That’s the problem with using the King James Version. Also I hear the Scottish King James I of England believed witches could create storms at sea and wrote something called Demonologie. That’s why they wrote Macbeth for him. Do you really want to trust his translation?
If you must use the right-wing religious fruitcake translations, try the NIV translation, or switch it to the Hebrew and translate it yourself:
http://www.blueletterbible.org/cgi-bin/tools/printer-friendly.pl?book=Lev&chapter=11&translation=nivp&x=9&y=9
You better keep your hands off of those eagles, too. God says so.