Irregular Times Diaries: Unfit Discussion

They all thought that I was just kidding, or that I was some kind of crazy conspiracy theory kook, but who’s laughing now?

New Scientist is reporting that the collosal volcano underneath Yellowstone National Park has begun to swell, and swell, lifting the entire land up, as a gigantic mass of molten rock rises, as a bubble of death, toward the surface. It’s just like I said it would happen.

When it reaches the surface, the inevitable will happen: An immense explosion that will set the United States on fire, burying half of North America under red hot burning ash, suffocating us, murking up the entire northern hemisphere with clouds of acidic sulfur rain that will poison the seas and cause everything but the smallest slimiest bottom dwellers to plunge into agony as they die, never to breed again, entire trunks of the tree of life withering with a fungus that cannot be contained, and on the land, here and there, miserable, zombie-like children watching the dogs pull the corpses from the earth because the Alpo factories have all burned down, and nobody is left to make them new Barney videos to watch as the world falls down!

Laugh at Disaster Dan, if you will, laugh, if it makes you feel better. I understand that you all need someone to pick on, to cast your anxieties at, as my worst predictions come true before your eyes. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.