Irregular Times Diaries: Unfit Discussion
In a time of the spring, old paths are obscured and new growth begins.
Irregular Times Diaries: Unfit DiscussionIn a time of the spring, old paths are obscured and new growth begins.
A spaceship sent from Earth to explore the planet Mercury has discovered a giant spider living there. The creature is 40 kilometers wide.
Scientists writing for the magazine New Scientist (what happened to the old scientist, I’d like to know) admit that they categorize the meeting of the spaceship and the spider was a “close encounter”. Yet, trying to be coy, so as not to provoke panic among Earthlings, the scientists merely called the spider a “strange spider-shaped feature”.
Well, let’s think now. What is most shaped like a spider? Answer: A spider! Clearly, the most obvious explanation for this “spider-shaped feature” is that it’s a spider.
Besides, the name of the Earth spaceship that was sent to Mercury was Messenger. Any fool can understand that one does not send a messenger to a place where it is believed that there is no one to hear a message. Scientists, it seems, have known about the giant spider living on Mercury for some time, and they have reason to believe that the Mercury spider is intelligent enough to understand out language.
What else can this giant spider do? Travel through outer space, perhaps?
The bad news: There is not believed to be very much for spiders to eat on the planet Mercury. That goes double for a giant spider.
Earth, on the other hand, is filled with food - enough to feed even a giant 40-kilometer spider for years.
We can expect that giant spider from Mercury to visit the Earth soon, and we should expect it to be very hungry.
Prepare your underground shelter now.
(156 votes, average: 3.14 out of 5)
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January 30th, 2008 at 11:59 pm
good to hear from you again, Dan, missed you. by the way, if there is a giant spider-like creatue on Mercury, there must be something there for it to eat, else it wouldn’t have survived, or evolved. so i’d not worry too much. i’d build a shelter but for other resons.
January 31st, 2008 at 12:41 am
It doesn’t look at all like a spider to me. It looks like a giant brain with a backbone. And wasn’t the mythical character Mercury a messenger to the gods, with wings on his feet? Clearly this phenomenon is a message to the congress.
January 31st, 2008 at 8:25 am
Ahh, Disaster Dan, I was wondering where you’d been off to. For a while there I thought the Mother Ship had finally come to beam you up.
January 31st, 2008 at 8:33 am
Even I cannot speak of the profound misfortunes that have kept me from here.
January 31st, 2008 at 9:12 am
[…] night, Disaster Dan warned us of the risk of invasion by a gigantic spider from the planet Mercury. No, not David Bowie’s spiders from Mars. Think […]
April 11th, 2008 at 1:48 pm
U guys are a bunch of dumbasses there no goddam spider on fucken mercury that is the dumbest things I have ever heard of what the hell is wrong with you guys get a fucken life and quit puting bullshit like this on the internet
April 11th, 2008 at 1:52 pm
who the hell is disaster Dan sounds more like dickface dan to me and my buds And my budy daws said you guys all suck big black vainy triumphant dicks to
April 11th, 2008 at 2:11 pm
This whole fucken website is a whole bunch of bullshit you guys are all fagots who wrote this stuff get a life and move on there more to lif e then writeing a bunch of bullshit that isn’t true. If your gona write a bunch of bullshit adleast make it funny instead of saying o theres a big fucken spider on mercury ooo thats so fucken stupid why would you even pay to have a website as dumb as this 1 fucken dumbass