Irregular Times Diaries: Unfit Discussion
In a time of the spring, old paths are obscured and new growth begins.
Irregular Times Diaries: Unfit DiscussionIn a time of the spring, old paths are obscured and new growth begins.
The Adventists are building a new wellness center on the campus of their university. The university is blessed with a forward-looking management team, and they are in laboratory trials for a cure for aging.
Don Juan Ponce de Leon was looking around in Florida in 1513 for a fountain of youth. Little did he know he should have been looking for “cookies of youth” instead of a “fountain of youth”.
The research professor (pictured above, click to enlarge) “is constantly searching for ways to make her cookies healthier”. 
She uses margarine, sugar, eggs, baking soda, and white flour in her anti-aging cookies (ingredients at left, click to enlarge). The professor makes a batch of 288 of these special cookies at a time, and they are quickly snapped up!
The experiments have gone well. According to this eminent scientist, students experience a “calming” and “rejuvenating” effect on eating these wonder cookies.
With the research breakthroughs at the Adventist university, the wellness center will be booked solid. If these cookies really do “rejuvenate” (to make youthful), as the research professor claims, the world will be standing in line.
This is probably the first scientific study in which cookies actually make people younger!
source:
http://adventistsnotcult.blogspot.com/2008/01/priming-pump.html
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February 26th, 2008 at 5:04 pm
A CURE for aging? So that people will get younger over time, or stay the same age?
Did these cookies make a 45 year-old 44 years old?
They’ve been “blessed with a forward-looking management team”? But, I thought they were trying to take people backwards, to their youth. If they were blessed with that management team, does that mean that they didn’t work to hire good people? God just made them appear?
A little bit more realistic writing would make the scientific nature of this venture appear more credible.
February 26th, 2008 at 6:26 pm
I’m just reporting on what they have to say. The exhibits are from the Chattanooga Times Free Press, a local newspaper. You click on them, and they will enlarge for easy readability.
You have to understand that Adventists have a unique way of doing things. They call this a unique faith environment:
http://adventistsnotcult.blogspot.com/2008/01/in-world-and-of-world-unique-faith.html
February 26th, 2008 at 8:25 pm
But “constantly searching for ways to make her cookies healthier” by making them with uses margarine, sugar, eggs, baking soda, and white flour???
How is that worth a newspaper article? Except for using butter (actually healthier) instead of margarine, every cookie recipe I have ever seen calls for the same ingredients.
Pardon the pun, but this story is kooky cookie.
February 27th, 2008 at 1:19 am
This Adventist bunch is hardly forward looking if they use white flour instead of wheat flour, an oil that is solid at room temperature instead of canola or olive oil, and eggs–EGGS? Can you say “cholesterol” If you know anyone with a cardiac diet, you know the eggs are the first to go. Instead you can get egg substitute, or even better, separate the egg and use two egg whites instead of the whole egg. Just dump the yolk in the garbage. And sugar-Egad! How about cooking with Splenda. You can substitute Splenda for sugar in a recipe one for one.
I did home care for some adventists once and they have some unusual beliefs about blood which means they can’t accept transfusions. A friend of my husband had to convert to their religion in order to marry an Adventist, you guessed it, something happened and he died after losing a lot of blood. His parents couldn’t do anything but watch him die, because the wife was the legal next of kin and he was legally and publicly adventist. They do have surgery though, and have pioneered methods that are compatible with their religion–I think they can have blood plasma. I always thought they had healthier eating habits than that, though.
I think the article is meant to be cutesy.