Irregular Times Diaries: Unfit Discussion

Barack Hussein Obama! Republicans have made a big deal out of using Barack Obama’s middle name, Hussein, trying to imply that because his middle name is Hussein, Barack Obama must be some kind of radical Muslim terrorist. The underlying Republican theory is that people’s middle names reveal profound insights into their character.

So, who wants to place a bet that the political operators at Fox News and other Republican-controlled media will not give the same treatment to Joe Biden? Will they use Biden’s middle name every time they talk about him? Will they call him Joseph Robinette Biden?

Let’s be honest about this: Robinette is way more weird a middle name than Hussein. Hussein is the Arabic equivalent of Bob. Nowhere, but nowhere, is the name Robinette normal.

So far, Fox News has never used Biden’s full name: Joseph Robinette Biden. So, why does Fox News refuse to use Joe Biden’s middle name? Are they afraid of being politically incorrect and exposing the meaning of the name Robinette? Are they covering up an illegal immigrant invasion by French choreographers? Are they worried that their viewers will learn about Biden’s Robinettofascism?

Shocking revelation: Robinette is a girl’s name! So, just like Barack Hussein Obama must be an Arab Muslim, Joe Biden must be a girl!

Also, Robinette is a form of the name Robin, which means “bright fame”. And Joe Biden is famous… just like a false messiah! This all just goes to prove that Barack Obama must be the antichrist.

It’s elementary logic, see.

When I saw our cat carrying a bird in its mouth as I took my family out the back door this morning, I tried to redirect the attention of my children, but my oldest son had already seen what was happening by the time I thought of something to say. He rushed out into the grass, and grabbed the bird as it flopped along the ground.

He held the bird just right as he brought it back to show us. It was a baby mourning dove.

I put the bird in a tupperware container so that it wouldn’t jump free, and then took it a few hundred feet out, to some tall weeds at the edge of the woods. “It will be able to hide there,” I told my son.

As we walked downtown, we ran into one of my son’s teachers. “I saved a baby dove this morning, my son said. He told almost everyone we saw what he had done. He told them he was a hero.

When we arrived home, I told my son to go play upstairs for a bit while I cleaned up a mess downstairs. I did not tell him that I had found a pile of mottled feathers from an in immature mourning dove at the top of the basement stairs.

“We have attempted diplomacy without effect. We have attempted economic sanctions to no effect. Regrettably, my colleagues and I have concluded the President needs the authorization to use force to protect our country from this sort of eventuality.” – Evan Bayh, October 8, 2002.

The statement above was given by Evan Bayh on the floor of the Senate as a justification for rushing into war against Iraq. In this statement, Senator Bayh states that diplomatic and economic efforts to eliminate Iraqi weapons of mass destruction had not worked, and so, war was absolutely necessary.

Those with a little memory will remember that, actually, Evan Bayh was quite wrong. Back in 2002, when Evan Bayh gave his speech, Iraq didn’t have any weapons of mass destruction to eliminate.

Why didn’t Iraq have any weapons of mass destruction any more? Because diplomacy and economic sanctions had worked. Diplomatic reality was, in fact, the direct opposite of what Evan Bayh thought it was.

This incident exposed Evan Bayh as a shockingly unprepared diplomatic thinker. But, now many Democratic Party insiders are pushing to get Evan Bayh chosen to be the Vice President of the United States. Traditionally, one of the few important roles of a Vice President is international diplomacy.

Evan Bayh just isn’t qualified to be Vice President. As his ignorant claims surrounding the invasion of Iraq prove, Evan Bayh lacks the diplomatic skills necessary in a good Vice President.

There is, underneath the surface of constitutional, secular law in the United States, a seething conspiracy to replace the current American government with a Christian theocracy.

The conspiracy has been announced by Republican Congressman Paul Broun from Georgia, who proclaimed on the floor of the U.S. House of Representatives:

“I pray, Lord: You are sovereign and completely in control of all things, and I acknowledge Your awesome power and authority. All things are in Your control, and nothing is too small or too great to bring before You.”

A member of Congress is part of the theocratic conspiracy, and has announced his intention to make Christian religion sovereign over the government of the USA, and “completely in control of all things”. An aspiring American ayatollah, Paul Broun, may expect to be made part of the Grand Christian Rulership Council under which we will all be forced to submit to his “awesome power and authority”.

Oops. I meant to say God’s awesome power and authority. Paul Broun doesn’t represent God in Congress, does he?

The first thing they noticed is that their cats were missing.

The thing about a housecat, of course, is that it’s difficult to know for sure if it’s really missing, or just out having a good time. So, it was at least half a year before the residents of Frenchtown Road in Trumbull, Connecticut came together and realized their common problem.

As the neighbors talked with each other about the loss of their pets, they also began to share stories of the strange noises they had been hearing at night. “I swear that it’s just like that sound they made in the movie Bringing Up Baby for the jaguar,” explains one resident, who asked that her name not be made public.

A few described having seen something that could have made the sounds, something that was the size of a large dog, but moved like a cat, with ears that stood up straight, with tufts on the end. Rumors began of strange breeding programs at the Beardsley Park Zoological Gardens, just a half-mile to the east of Frenchtown Road, which houses multiple species of wild cats. The purpose was said to be the creation a hybrid between the specimens in the American Lynx and the Amur Tiger, and perhaps other species as well.

Could one of the offspring of this program have gotten loose from the park, or been purposefully disposed of in attempt to cover up the unethical project? Could the creature survive? There is a large park on the northeastern side of Frenchtown Road, and Lake Forest offers an easy supply of water. Many previously wild animals, such as coyotes and foxes, now make suburban areas their homes.

At this point, the neighbors are unsure about what happened to their cats, whether they were eaten by the creature of Frenchtown Road, or were captured and made part of the breeding program that produced the hellcat that haunts their park in the first place. The staff at Beardsley Park Zoological Gardens have not issued a statement on the matter.

Breaking news, and I appear to be the first person to report on it:

A rash of mysterious plant petrifications is taking place on isolated islands in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean – the purported location of the ancient civilization of Atlantis.

It seems strange, but apparently, plants on the chain of islands known as the Azores are turning into stone – and no one knows why, or at least, they aren’t telling.

This story comes from a very reputable source: The United States Secretary of Health and Human Services – Mike Leavitt. Leavitt reported just a few hours ago that he saw the petrified plants from his government airplane as he approached a well-guarded military base in the Azores.

“During our approach to land at Lajes Field, a base operated jointly by the United States and Portugal, you could see miles of stone hedges separating fields,” said Leavitt.

As everyone knows hedges consist of evergreen shrubs that respond to being pruned by growing in a compact form. It seems that, in the Azores, these plants are all of a sudden turning to stone. The only way this would be possible is if the plants’ genetics for taking in minerals from the soil suddenly ran out of control, converting the plants’ bodies into giant crystalline structures.

This kind of genetic engineering could result in a biological weapon of astounding power. Just imagine what would happen if an aggressor could drop packages of viral spores instead of bombs. There would be no damage to industrial infrastructure, but the target nation would be brought to a standstill as its agricultural production ground, literally, to a halt. All of its crops would become inedible as rocks.

It is no coincidence, then, that the new petrifying biological weapon was developed right next to a secretive military base, where the Pentagon could control it. The geographical isolation of the Azores would also create a quarantine, just in case the virus got out of hand.

The connection to Atlantis is also evident. Where else could such an organism, so powerful and yet so mysterious, have come from? Consider too how Atlantis came to be destroyed – it sank beneath the waves – perhaps under the weight of vegetation suddenly as heavy as stone.

Who would the target of this terrible new weapon of mass destruction be? Well, think about this: Which country is the breadbasket of Eurasia? It’s Russia, of course. Is it a coincidence that Russia has been goaded into miltary confrontation with the United States, just in time for the petrification virus to be used as a biological weapon?

The name Democratic Underground is a great idea. If only the DemocraticUnderground.com web site would follow through with the underground approach that its name suggests.

The people over there pretend to have a lot of guts. They dish out the abuse when it comes to attacking George W. Bush. One person there blasted Bush’s decision to ignore Cindy Sheehan, saying of Bush, “He didn’t have the balls to even talk to Cindy Sheehan!”

Ooh, but what does the Democratic Underground do when the Democrats start to support George W. Bush? What happens when it’s Nancy Pelosi who refuses to debate Cindy Sheehan?

Well, then the Democratic Underground just whistles and looks the other way, pretending there isn’t a problem. Or, worse, they censor dissent, kicking people off their web site for daring to criticize Nancy Pelosi and praise Cindy Sheehan.

That’s what they did to the following video: They banned it from being shown on DemocraticUnderground.com. Open discussion of politics isn’t allowed there. It’s just a place for Democratic dittoheads to parrot the party line. How pathetic.

Democratic Underground? Please! They’re more like Democratic Overground.

I ran into a very curious site tonight called Fairie Talker. It’s a group that talks about real fairies – ones that are supposed to actually exist, rather than the ones we read about in story books.

The site shows a picture of a young looking fairy, but advises that a fairy who looks young may actually be very old. “The apparent age is meaningless since they can appear to be any age. The younger manifestations are common when the fairy wants to assure that he/she is harmless and wants to be your friend. The oldest manifestations are usually because they want you to understand that they are wise.”

And the middle-aged manifestations of fairies take place when the fairies want to let you know that they’re feeling very tired, and could really use a vacation.

Dick Morris is a political consultant who is paid to tell candidates how to communicate effectively. In keeping with his skills, Dick Morris came out with a new book a month ago with the easy to understand and remember title of Fleeced: How Barack Obama, Media Mockery of Terrorist Threats, Liberals Who Want to Kill Talk Radio, the Do-Nothing Congress, Companies That Help Iran, and Washington Lobbyists for Foreign Governments Are Scamming Us … and What to Do About It.

What to do about it? Which it does he mean?

Actually, Dick Morris originally wanted to come out with a longer, more convoluted title for his book. The book was supposed to be entitled, Fleeced: How Barack Obama, Media Mockery of Terrorist Threats, Liberals Who Want to Kill Talk Radio, the Do-Nothing Congress, Companies That Help Iran, Washington Lobbyists for Foreign Governments and Little Chipmunks Are Scamming Us … and What to Do About It.

The publisher’s agent worried that the title might make Dick Morris sound a bit kooky, so they changed it.