Irregular Times Diaries: Unfit Discussion

Breaking news, and I appear to be the first person to report on it:

A rash of mysterious plant petrifications is taking place on isolated islands in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean - the purported location of the ancient civilization of Atlantis.

It seems strange, but apparently, plants on the chain of islands known as the Azores are turning into stone - and no one knows why, or at least, they aren’t telling.

This story comes from a very reputable source: The United States Secretary of Health and Human Services - Mike Leavitt. Leavitt reported just a few hours ago that he saw the petrified plants from his government airplane as he approached a well-guarded military base in the Azores.

“During our approach to land at Lajes Field, a base operated jointly by the United States and Portugal, you could see miles of stone hedges separating fields,” said Leavitt.

As everyone knows hedges consist of evergreen shrubs that respond to being pruned by growing in a compact form. It seems that, in the Azores, these plants are all of a sudden turning to stone. The only way this would be possible is if the plants’ genetics for taking in minerals from the soil suddenly ran out of control, converting the plants’ bodies into giant crystalline structures.

This kind of genetic engineering could result in a biological weapon of astounding power. Just imagine what would happen if an aggressor could drop packages of viral spores instead of bombs. There would be no damage to industrial infrastructure, but the target nation would be brought to a standstill as its agricultural production ground, literally, to a halt. All of its crops would become inedible as rocks.

It is no coincidence, then, that the new petrifying biological weapon was developed right next to a secretive military base, where the Pentagon could control it. The geographical isolation of the Azores would also create a quarantine, just in case the virus got out of hand.

The connection to Atlantis is also evident. Where else could such an organism, so powerful and yet so mysterious, have come from? Consider too how Atlantis came to be destroyed - it sank beneath the waves - perhaps under the weight of vegetation suddenly as heavy as stone.

Who would the target of this terrible new weapon of mass destruction be? Well, think about this: Which country is the breadbasket of Eurasia? It’s Russia, of course. Is it a coincidence that Russia has been goaded into miltary confrontation with the United States, just in time for the petrification virus to be used as a biological weapon?