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God Says Sarah Palin is Wrong About The Alaska Pipeline

I was hired a few months ago by Alaska Governor Sarah Palin. She wanted some advice on a natural gas pipeline. I told her absolutely not to approve of it, that it was against my will.

Hi, I’m God. You probably have seen my show on QVC, where I sell Tupperware and collectible figurines. Most people don’t know that I also work part time as a political consultant, though.

In fact, I was hired a few months ago by Alaska Governor Sarah Palin. She wanted some advice on a natural gas pipeline. I told her absolutely not to approve of it, that it was against my will.

But did Sarah Palin take my advice? Oh, no. She got up in front of the Wasilla Assemblies of God church and proclaimed that the natural gas pipeline is the will of God.

I think it’s time to set the record straight, which is why I made the following video podcast. People deserve to know the truth about Sarah Palin, I think.

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Date: September 6, 2008

Author: God

Categories: election 2008, In Defense of The Faith, politics, religion, video

Tags: alaska, cartoon, god, pipeline, sarah palin, satire

(364 votes, average: 2.96 out of 5)

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• 

  RM

  in September 11th, 2008 @ 11:04

  You all need to get a life

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  darebrit

  in September 14th, 2008 @ 11:04

  Hey God.

  We haven’t heard from you in these pages in a long time. How are things up there in the clouds? Created any new universes lately?

  It seems that you have quite a mess to clean up down here, your republican supporters have been busy making all kinds of claims in your name and once again they are saying that you are a republican and want a republican in the White House.

  I am confused God.

  Back in the day when Jefferson, Franklin and the rest were laboring over how our new country was to be structured, You, showing typical Godlike wisdom stood back and took no part. Even when the framers of the Constitution put in a specific clause preventing State sponsored or supported religion. If this was such a big deal, why didn’t you stop it then?

  I have always thought that that was a smart move on your part. And so far it seems to have worked except that since your republicans decided that you are one of them, all sorts of crap has been dumped on the shoulders of the populace. The mega Churches are getting bigger and spouting more lies and making whole bunches of money and even telling their preachers to support a rebellion against the IRS.

  (Here I have a huge problem God. If you need so much money and so many huge buildings and private jets and Limo’s and stuff, why not just take it? You are after all ‘All Powerful’. And why would you need all that stuff? your spiritual leaders down here are still using your name -and your son’s- to amass great wealth and preach ridiculous nonsense on your behalf).

  So. Here’s the point of this message. I would like to believe that everything that your representatives tell me is true. I have a problem with the disgusting language that they use, but I try to ignore that. Will you really cast all Democrats in the pit of fire? Will you really allow a bunch of semi-literate morons to destroy your creations? my problem is, if I follow everything that the republicans tell me about you, then we should quit trying to:

  Love my neighbor.
  Not bear false witness.
  Have no other Gods but you (money isn’t a god)
  Not commit murder
  Not covet thy neighbor’s wife, goods etc.
  Not commit adultery.

  I know that when you started all this, it seemed like a good idea. But the present clutch of representatives of your exalted self, whether they wear Yarmulkes, Turbans, Copes or Shaven Heads, have really got their collective knickers in a twist when it comes to you and elections.

  I personally cannot believe that you had anything to do with the last two Presidential elections, and I know that the war in Iraq was not your fault and that Hurricanes,Tsunamis, Earthquakes, Floods and Tornado,s and the outcome of American Football games are just part of your secret plan. Please tell us that you are not really a republican and that those who say that you are, are wrong.

  I like to think that you are a kindly sort of guy who looks after my grandchildren while they sleep. I hate to think that in 20 years or so they will be mad at you for what the republicans are doing to us in your name today..

  I am sorry to take you so much of your time, but it is Sunday and I thought you wouldn’t mind. Say Hi to the boy for me, Try to find some way to help those poor folks down in Texas and have the rest of the day off. You deserve it.

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• 

  Bob

  in September 17th, 2008 @ 19:47

  It’s funny how you liberals hate it when God is used in Polticts, but then you use him to tackle down your oppent. Y’all are hypocrites!

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  BornInTheUSA

  in September 21st, 2008 @ 12:53

  Hey Bob, Your political party IS the party of hypocrites. So, you should know one when you see one. However, you missed the point of darebrit #2, completely. Darebrit wasn’t invoking God, but using hypothetical example. That’s the difference. It’s your sick & twisted people who are constantly Praying for plagues and punishments and telling the dummies who believe them that “God” told them because they know their personal convictions aren’t enough, they blaspheme the holy name of God for their own personal glory and enrich themselves.

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  Randy

  in September 30th, 2008 @ 17:10

  Funny you should mention His feelings on politics, etc. He seems to be pretty chatty about that stuff.

  http://deusexeverriculum.wordpress.com/

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