Irregular Times Diaries: Unfit Discussion

Sometimes, you can judge a policy by the company it keeps. Who opposes Barack Obama’s expansion of the number of American soldiers fighting in Afghanistan? Progressive organizations like CodePink and United for Peace and Justice.

Who supports Obama’s decision to escalate? Right wingers like Mike Huckabee and Sarah Palin.

Don’t let D.C. Democratic leadership snowball you. The Afghanistan war escalation is anything but progressive.

In his new book, A Simple Christmas, Mike Huckabee preaches to us all about how we should have a simple life, without commercialization or overindulgence… and then he promotes a limited edition autographed version of the book in leather case with a certificate of authenticity, for a premium price, just in time for us to buy for Christmas!

Everywhere I go tonight, I hear people talking about some kind of plan to “sue per bowl”. Sue per bowl, sue per bowl, sue per bowl!

Stop it already! I’m tired of hearing about your frivolous lawsuits! I don’t care if your kitchenware is defective! You ought to have the decency to just file one lawsuit for all your dishes at once…

…oh, what? A football game? They’re all talking about a football game?

Well that’s even sillier.

U.S. Representative Phil Gingrey got up on the floor of the House of Representatives yesterday in order to praise the work of the National Association Management Group.

The sensation I had when I read about the name of the NAMG was like how it feels to look at one of those optical illusions that contain two pictures, depending on the perspective of the viewer – like the one where a woman sitting at her mirror can also be seen as a skull.

Is the National Association Management Group concerned with the management of national associations, or with the national association of management?

Congressman Gingrey said of William Patterson, the Chairman of the National Association Management Group, that his “service has been marked by a dedication to the growth and continued development of the organization while providing steadfast leadership and direction”. So, does that mean that Patterson’s job is to provide leadership and direction to the dedicated development of a group that manages associations?

Well, that makes it more clear.

Barack Hussein Obama! Republicans have made a big deal out of using Barack Obama’s middle name, Hussein, trying to imply that because his middle name is Hussein, Barack Obama must be some kind of radical Muslim terrorist. The underlying Republican theory is that people’s middle names reveal profound insights into their character.

So, who wants to place a bet that the political operators at Fox News and other Republican-controlled media will not give the same treatment to Joe Biden? Will they use Biden’s middle name every time they talk about him? Will they call him Joseph Robinette Biden?

Let’s be honest about this: Robinette is way more weird a middle name than Hussein. Hussein is the Arabic equivalent of Bob. Nowhere, but nowhere, is the name Robinette normal.

So far, Fox News has never used Biden’s full name: Joseph Robinette Biden. So, why does Fox News refuse to use Joe Biden’s middle name? Are they afraid of being politically incorrect and exposing the meaning of the name Robinette? Are they covering up an illegal immigrant invasion by French choreographers? Are they worried that their viewers will learn about Biden’s Robinettofascism?

Shocking revelation: Robinette is a girl’s name! So, just like Barack Hussein Obama must be an Arab Muslim, Joe Biden must be a girl!

Also, Robinette is a form of the name Robin, which means “bright fame”. And Joe Biden is famous… just like a false messiah! This all just goes to prove that Barack Obama must be the antichrist.

It’s elementary logic, see.

The Associated Press headline this morning was

Bush: China must end detentions, ensure freedoms

Couldn’t it have been

China: Bush must end detentions, ensure freedoms

?

Barack Obama wants my money. He’s got people emailing me left and right, telling me I ought to take my hard earned paycheck and give it to the Obama for President campaign.

Why? Why should I help Barack Obama?

Barack Obama isn’t helping me.

Why should I lift a finger to help elect Barack Obama when he is betraying everything I believe in?

Barack Obama is selling out the Constitution to do a big favor for George W. Bush and powerful telecommunications corporations. Obama will help out the powerful, but will he protect me from the prying eyes of the government? Heck no. I’m only worth one paycheck’s worth of a donation.

Now Obama is saying that he’s going to expand George W. Bush’s unconstitutional mixing of church and state – the “faith-based” initiative slush fund.

Hey, Obama, leave unto Caesar what is Caesar’s, get it?

I don’t trust Obama any more. Obama has lost my vote.

Oh, but I guess some evangelical telecom CEO is going to take my place in the pro-Obama ranks, huh? I judge you by the company you keep, Barack, and that company is looking more and more slimy.

This month is Home Safety Month, brought to you by the Home Safety Council. I could go on and on about exactly home you should be safe at home, but that’s not the main point.

The main point of Home Safety month is that, if you’re going to do something unsafe, you should be sure to do it outside the home.

Don’t forget to tell the kids.

Everybody is pouring love on Barack Obama now, like sugar on breakfast cereal. They’re talking about what might have been with Hillary Clinton. But what about the other ex-presidential candidates?

Where are they now?

Here’s what Dennis Kucinich has been up to this evening: He brought H. Res. 127: recognizing and celebrating the 50th anniversary of the entry of Alaska in the Union as the 49th State to the floor of the House of Representatives.

By gum, the resolution passed. Kucinich worked hard to defeat the powerful anti-Alaska lobby in Congress. That’s the kind of achievement that is not soon forgotten.

Just imagine what might have happened if Kucinich had been made the Democratic nominee. Why, Congress might have recognized Alaska and Hawaii in his honor.

CNN is showing a shocking video that’s made the rounds on YouTube: It’s of a supporter of Barack Obama who took a live fish from an aquarium and swallowed it whole!

Ruby the goldfish is owned by a neighbor of a preacher who made a guest appearance this week just two blocks down the street from Barack Obama’s church in Chicago. Until this morning, Ruby had shared her fish tank with a guppy named Jewel. Now, Ruby lives alone. She ate Jewel alive.

When will Barack Obama repudiate this live-fish eating Muslim extremist cult among his followers? Why has he not spoken out?