Irregular Times Diaries: Unfit Discussion

Ya think “unlawful enemy combatant” would look good in needlepoint?

I stand before you this day to declare that I, your obedient servant, may be in violation of the Military Commissions Act of 2006.

Specifically, it is within the provisions of the bill that allow for President Bush, via his minions, to deem me an “unlawful enemy combatant” for any poem, commentary or statement I have ever made, impugning his or his administration’s frighteningly ineffective and actively dangerous efforts to end global terrorism.

We’re half way around the world, bombing people who have done nothing to us. The administration seeks to influence policies and elections in other countries, and threatens intervention if they do not toe our political line. Isn’t that what we fought against during the cold war? Didn’t we stand against the Communists to keep them from venturing into other countries? I am not a conspiracy-theory left wing nut job, but I am way past offended that this administration sees their job as remaking the United States of America in the image of the late UNlamented Soviet Union. Democracy at gunpoint… if that isn’t an oxymoron, then President Bush can pronounce ‘nuclear’.

I cannot and will not be silenced by toadies like Donald Rumsfeld, who has never risked his overweight, coronary-ready ass for his country but presumes to tell ‘the faithful’ that he knows what will make us victorious in war. What he ‘knows’ is how to profit from corporate involvement in war, and how to make a few bucks for his friends in the bargain.

I shan’t be deterred by the religious right, put off by the neocondescending disinformation machine, or undermined by the unfair, unbalanced, untrue and unprincipled Fox News Network.

I will not be haunted the Coultergeist, shadowed by the government, governed by the incompetent or overruled by the supposed rulers of what was, until the MCA of ‘ought-six, a country both democratic and free.

Calling this law wrong is the understatement of the century. I am, as all Americans should be, ashamed for my nation and for the Great American Experiment, whose demise this law may very well portend.

With that, a final word… I have a house that’s paid for, a really cool motorcycle and a new love of my life…… if I disappear, I sure as hell didn’t run away.

Later.

Weed causes forgetfulness… Yep, an entire generation forgot they smoked the stuff!

It may seem a little extreme to say that I’m embarrassed to be a member of the baby boomer generation. After all, we’re the biggest and most successful generation since that small bunch of ex-Englishfolk baled on the Not-So-Great British tax structure and declared that this was the future home of hippies and millionaires. But alas, I must admit it – I can’t stand shoulder to shoulder with my gen-mates and hold my head up next to a bunch of people who smoked enough marijuana to stone the current population of India, whilst they start pounding their sagging middle-aged chests and spouting off about how kids today shouldn’t even think of experimenting with drugs.

Let’s get this announcement straight: Who the hell are they kidding? What a bunch of dime-store hyocritical bastards. “Just say No????” - like any one of us ever even considered that option when we were riding that six story waterslide called puberty into our early twenties. We grabbed for all the gusto we could handle, and occasionally reaped the fruits of overindulgence, which more than likely resulted in waking up on some lawn wondering why the comfy, green bed came complete with the occasional dandelion.

I might be willing to tolerate the Partnership for a Drug Free America if they were as anxious to stop the people popping unnecessary – but legally prescribed – drugs as they are to put an end to the only thing the first twenty-five years of human life are good for – Pushing the envelope to the fullest while one is still young and resilient. I might also be more tolerant of the drug war if we actually napalmed the hell out of poppy and coca fields that were doing the supplying. But we don’t – we pay their governments to stop their farmer from doing the only thing that makes them money – and SURPRISE, it doesn’t work.

Take the ‘kids in the basement’ commercial. There they are, safe at home, engaged in nothing more notorious than playing video games, when one of the throng implores his friend to ‘break out some of that weed.” Our friend cracks open his wooden stash box only to find a note that says “We need to talk – Mom”. Let’s assume that the conversation isn’t going to be about Mom having pinched little Marvin’s stash so she could get high. This is about her child’s descent into the writhing hell of – mary-ju-wanna. Yipe. Call the Cops or The National Guard or maybe even President Bush, who, it has been reported, was into the nose candy, back in the day. Jeez, ma, the kids could be drinking and driving…

But, hey, let’s run screaming to make commercials against smoking dope.

If mere rhetoric isn’t enough, try the following simple list of annual causes of death in the United States�

Tobacco 435,000
Poor Diet and Physical Inactivity 400,000
Alcohol 85,000 / 101,653
Microbial Agents 75,000
Toxic Agents 55,000
Motor Vehicle Crashes 43,000 / 26,347
Adverse Reactions to Prescription Drugs 32,000
Suicide 30,622
Incidents Involving Firearms 29,000
Homicide 20,3084
Sexual Behaviors 20,000
All Illicit Drug Use, Direct and Indirect 17,000
Non-Steroidal Anti-Inflammatory Drugs Such As Aspirin 7,600
Marijuana 0

Yep. That’s right. Despite the valiant efforts of tokers from Baja to Bangor, NOBODY in the western hemisphere has gotten stoned to death since long before Shirley Jackson wrote “The Lottery” in 1948.

For the record, I am not a dope smoker – I did it when I was younger and it made me paranoid, an experience I don’t especially like, so I stopped. But that doesn’t mean that I am somehow now required to disavow the fact that often I had a very good time while high. Truth is, I am embarassed when anyone around my age starts blathering on about the ‘dangers’ of drugs�. After all, 100% of the people who tell you they did drugs (and you shouldn’t), managed to survive long enough to become hypocrites.