Irregular Times Diaries: Unfit Discussion

You thought churches were boring places? All frowns, no fun.

Well, get ready to change your mind!

When the Adventists get ready to celebrate Christmas, your expectations will be fulfilled! In 2007, they celebrated the holiday at Cadillac Jack’s.

“Cadillac Jack’s Casino offers a spacious gaming floor with 181 of your favorite and newest slot machines in town! Also enjoy five action-packed Blackjack tables, four LIVE Poker tables with the friendliest dealers in town, and free cocktails to all players!”

You must be used to dimly-lit cathedrals. When the Adventists get together to celebrate, SAY HELLO to the bright lights!

Wicked tongues have circulated false rumors about the Adventists:

You may be aware that Adventists are strictly forbidden ‘worldly functions’ such as movies, the circus, dances, and cards. They are not even allowed to read secular literature and the reading of novels is strictly forbidden. (Gregory G. P. Hunt, M.D., B.Sc., F.R.C.P., Chapter 18 - Ellen White and Miscellaneous Nonsense, Beware This Cult!, http://www.ellenwhite.org/btc/btc18.htm)

Adventists don’t just watch “movies”, they also produce and distribute them. Like the 2007 production “Christmas at Cadillac Jack’s“. It just happens to have been the Adventist North American Division’s Christmas show. Click here for more information. This seems to be the hottest action in Deadwood, South Dakota!

Its a “dramatic Christmas program produced by the North American Division”. Not a real story, but fiction. Sure the Adventists’ previous prophet speaks against this, but since when have these people troubled themselves over what that prophet says?

Even fiction which contains no suggestion of impurity, and which may be intended to teach excellent principles, is harmful. It encourages the habit of hasty and superficial reading, merely for the story. Thus it tends to destroy the power of connected and vigorous thought; it unfits the soul to contemplate the great problems of duty and destiny. (Ellen G. White, Counsels to Parents, Teachers, and Students, p 383)

According to the Adventists’ previous prophet, their church is putting out harmful films which “destroy the power of connected and vigorous thought”.

This may be welcome for all party-goers who are totally stressed out. Don’t forget that there are free cocktails for all gamblers!

In most supermarkets, there is a big section for processed foods, which generally do not have many vitamins and minerals left. Usually there’s a fresh section, or produce department, with whole foods.

The Adventist university has a “unique” faith environment, so they also have a “unique” produce department, which features gummi bears and “fruit slices”. Note the labels “RING ON PRODUCE”.

Most gummi bears are not vegetarian, having a gelatin base and a generous admixture of sugar. The pretty colors come from chemicals.

But why would this trouble these people, who are well-known in the area for providing free nutrition advice?

They seem to have new light in nutritional areas, and apparently think that eating this sort of thing is “simply nutritious”, and even “simply good”! Main thing is to keep it simple.

Some church members get a little suspicious, and think about seeking truth. In their “unique faith environment”, they believe that if they seek adventure, they will find truth. Preferably in a cave.

Luckily the Adventist university has a cave on campus. Apparently they store the secrets of healthy nutrition inside. This picture shows two adventure seekers. Hope they found the truth!

And if not?

There’s always the Wellness Center.

The Adventists are building a new wellness center on the campus of their university. The university is blessed with a forward-looking management team, and they are in laboratory trials for a cure for aging.

Don Juan Ponce de Leon was looking around in Florida in 1513 for a fountain of youth. Little did he know he should have been looking for “cookies of youth” instead of a “fountain of youth”.

The research professor (pictured above, click to enlarge) “is constantly searching for ways to make her cookies healthier”. She uses margarine, sugar, eggs, baking soda, and white flour in her anti-aging cookies (ingredients at left, click to enlarge). The professor makes a batch of 288 of these special cookies at a time, and they are quickly snapped up!

The experiments have gone well. According to this eminent scientist, students experience a “calming” and “rejuvenating” effect on eating these wonder cookies.

With the research breakthroughs at the Adventist university, the wellness center will be booked solid. If these cookies really do “rejuvenate” (to make youthful), as the research professor claims, the world will be standing in line.

This is probably the first scientific study in which cookies actually make people younger!

source:

http://adventistsnotcult.blogspot.com/2008/01/priming-pump.html