Irregular Times Diaries: Unfit Discussion

I have no idea who is behind notRandy_Forbes, the new Twitter stream that mocks Republican Congressman Randy Forbes, but so far, I’m tickled by what I see there. The following two messages stand out so far:

- celebrating my judeo-christian heritage this weekend by feeding the homeless and giving away all my money. Syke! Im playing beer pong!

- I just caught my wife looking at pics of Rep Chris Lee

Living on the border between civilization and the raw power of wilderness, it lowers its head against the prevailing wind and surges forward to meet its destiny. Some may call it prickly, but it doesn’t have the luxury of being soft and cuddly. It’s an endangered species, struggling for survival in a world that has forgotten how to care. Its silent path plunges in and out of the dark side. You have just crossed paths with the Hedgehog of Peril.

It’s not just a hedgehog. It’s an edgehog.

——

Because it is no stranger to peril, this Hedgehog Of Peril t-shirt helps to fund Kiva microloans to people living on the edge in developing countries. It’s also made in the USA, free of sweatshop labor.

Today, I found a dollar for Ron Paul, and a dollar against Ron Paul. They’re the same dollar.

Who is Ron Paul? A loser.

Way to waste a vote! RonPaul2008.com

As you can see, this dollar bill is also against the eye at the top of the pyramid. That’ll stop the New World Order!

Heard in a hotel lobby this morning: A Muzak version of the Sesame Street classic song, Sing A Song. It ended with violins playing a sweeping version of the part that goes, “La la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la”.

Hey, na na, ho, na na, hey, na na! The Earth is our Mother, we must take care of her…

But hold on – if the Earth is our mother, then who is Mars? Personally, I nominate him for crazy uncle… always rushing off to war, can’t maintain life, in a weird relationship with Phobos… rusty…

But where did he get the gasoline?

Irregular Movie Rumor:

The makers of the remake of The Clash of the Titans have added in a backstory for the giant vulture that carries off the princess Andromeda to her accursed suitor’s swampy lair every night: The vulture is girl, and her name is Elizabeth. She likes to be known as Elizabeth The Giant Vulture of Doom, but when she’s not transporting prisoners in magical cages through the darkness, she works as an apprentice to Homer, and hopes to become the poet laureate of the swamp some day.

At the end of the movie, as Perseus and Andromeda ride Pegasus off into the sunset, Elizabeth The Giant Vulture sings a torch song written just for the movie, entitled, How Can I Carrion? The song may only make it into the director’s cut, however.

Of course, it’s just a rumor.

Far out news from Hawaii this week. Maybe it didn’t seem quite fun at the time, but a canoeist got a ride of his life when a humpback whale surfaced right next to his little boat. The wave sent the canoe skipping across the water like a flat stone. It ended up okay, although the canoe was destroyed. The whale rider got picked up by his friends and carried back to shore.

In spite of the economic stimulus package, for people who don’t work on Wall Street, the economy has continued to get worse. Lately, they’ve moved from worse to… worserer. So, what are we to do?

We’ve tried working harder to keep our jobs, or to get a job, but we’ve been working harder for a long time now, and nothing’s getting better.

I say we turn to drink. I’ve just discovered a wonderful liquor that tastes absolutely fabulous: Disaronno. It’s an italian liquor with a kind of sweet bitterness to it.

I find it to be a remarkable stimulus during this time of economic troubles.

How about you? What’s your alcoholic coping mechanism of choice?

Detroit could use a drink or two these days, with auto workers being laid off left and right, or downright fired in the tens of thousands. So, I thought I’d create a mixed drink just for the folks who are going through hard times in Mo-less-town these days.

I call it the Michigan chocolate scotch. Mix creme de cacao and scotch, and then add Vernors soda, to taste.

It’s not an especially tasty drink. It’s kind of reminiscent of gasoline. I thought that would be appropriate.