Irregular Times Diaries: Unfit Discussion

The war’s dragging on, people are dying, Oklahoma has been under a heat advisory for almost over a week solid now, the government is gleefully stripping away our rights on both sides of the isle, and all the other outrages I may have missed have largely been unreported. So I have to ask this question;

Why is it, with all the things Americans should know and be aware of both within our borders and regarding the world at large, that when I turn on CNN I don’t see an article about any of that but a story running about how a 73-year old geezer is the most popular porn star in Japan.

Seriously, CNN, what the fuck?! Why is this news?

At best, I was a half-hearted supporter of Obama’s. I was never overly enthused by him, though there were some periods where I thought I’d be able to call myself an Obama supporter with a measure of dignity. Over the last few weeks, that illusion has been shattered.

For all his talk and all his charm, Obama’s showing me now what I can expect in the future; more of the same old G.W.B. bullshit. As I look on his stances on the FISA amendments and now the faith-based bullshit, I can’t help but be left to reflect on our current situation.

Over the last 8 years, two presidential terms, George Bush has pulled some of the most unlawful actions in American history with impunity. Anything he wanted, he got on a golden platter. Anything illegal he did was turned a blind eye to by those sworn to uphold the rule of the law. I am now convinced that this attitude has forever ruined American politics and will lead us into a new age where corruption runs unchecked.

Obama now knows he’s got a 50-50 chance of getting the presidency and that Americans are pretty pissed at Republicans so the pressure’s pretty well off him now. And he’s been shown that the president can snub his nose at the law and Congress will roll over like the impotent, toothless tiger that it’s become.

And really, what choice do we, the people, have but to grin and bear it? There’s nothing that I know of which can force a reform to the corrupt politicains we now have in office. There’s no third party I can vote for because rarely, if ever, does a third party get on the ballet here in Oklahoma. Any time a third party gets media attention, it seems, it is laughed down until it crawls back under it’s rock.

The only thing I can think of, which I’ve mentioned before, is revoke the guarenteed spots on the ballots for Republicans and Democrats, but I know that won’t happen with the government the way it is now. I honestly want to know what can be done to change the way things are. I know, call my senator and voice my opinion, but even then the shit that shouldn’t be passed through congress is still being passed.

I thought I was going to vote this year, but I’m now seeing myself with the same options as when I thought Hillary Clinton was going to get the nomination; a choice between a Republican and a Republican Lite. Which one will shit on the Constitution less?

Obama, I thought you were the voice of change, I thought you were a voice of hope, but now I see what’s under the sheep’s clothing and I’m not impressed.

Will America ever return to the way it was before Bush got into office?

Frustrated by the stalled development of human society, I find refuge in the new green growth of spring.

Are modern pirates still bucklers of swashes?

Why didn’t I get a pony for my 16th birthday?

I am now officially admitting that I am politically depressed.

I think I’ve been politically depressed for several weeks now, but I haven’t allowed myself to acknowledge that depression. The news today puts me over the edge, way past deniability.

Hillary Clinton is releasing advertisements on television that strongly imply that if Barack Obama becomes President, we may likely be attacked by Osama Bin Laden, and Barack Obama won’t be able to handle it. It’s an absurd attack, that preys on the fears of American voters.

The sad thing is that, like the Clinton 3:00 AM telephone call, it works. Voters buy the message. They’re willing to sell their hopes out for the sake of fear. Clinton’s consultants know this, and they’re going whole hog because, above all else, they want to win, win, win.

A few voters get it. They see how despicable this line of attack is. The rest don’t care. They really believe it. It’s these voters, and not even the Hillary Clinton campaign, who depress me.

It depresses me to live in a nation where people are too cowardly to live in freedom, and too lazy to get involved in their own government, and too stupid to tell the difference between a scare tactic and “experience”.

I’m not writing this to try to score points for Barack Obama above Hillary Clinton, and try to affect any election. You know why? I’ve finally realized that I am too little and too powerless to have any affect. In a nation of 300 million people who care more about whether Cameron Diaz and Justin Timberlake have really finally broken up than they do about the Bill of Rights, I’m not going to be heard. I’m not going to make a difference.

If I try, I’m going to fail.

I’m going to keep on trying, just because it’s a damn old habit that I don’t think I can shake. Nonetheless, I no longer have any expectations of success. My voice won’t be heard. Things won’t get better. America is on the way out, and the American government is just going to get uglier and uglier.

Tonight, Pennsylvanians are going to reward Hillary Clinton for her scare tactics. Hillary Clinton will stay in the race, gleefully running around cheering “I won! I won!”

And then we’ll go on to Guam… and Indiana… and Nebraska… and the next state… and all the way to the end… and Hillary Clinton’s tactics of never asking the American people to think big or step out on a limb will be vindicated.

It will be a stalemate, and although Barack Obama will have won the majority of primaries, and have gotten the majority of primary-elected delegates, Hillary Clinton will be made the Democratic nominee, just because she has more powerful people who owe her favors.

We’ll slump on toward Election Day, and maybe Hillary Clinton will win and maybe John McCain will win, but most Americans won’t really care. They’ll just want to make sure that the election coverage on TV doesn’t interfere with their favorite weekly TV show.

I’ll still care, but I don’t expect that this year’s election will change anything. Clinton won’t bring soldiers home from Iraq, and she won’t close Guantanamo, and she won’t have the Patriot Act repealed, and her health care plans will be forgotten within a year, and we’ll continue to watch America slouching into the margins as Bill Clinton has one last fling at sexual independence with some middle-aged barmaid he meets on the outskirts of Peoria.

We had a chance to do something better with this country, but people just don’t give a damn. Damn it all to hell.

The still red branches
make autumn planted dogwoods
February’s hope.

As I wrote earlier, I have failed in my first attempt to write a novel during National Novel Writing Month. The goal was to write 50,000 words during the month of November. I burned out on the task on just the third day, finding it to be un-fun and feeling the need to accomplish other tasks.

I’m not going to jump back on the NaNoWriMo bandwagon for this year. But I have been thinking about why I fizzled. I think the answer is that I didn’t structure the attempt enough. I just had an idea in my head and jumped right in, flailing around for a few days and getting really tired in the process. I’m not ashamed to say I failed, big time. OK, maybe a bit ashamed. I’d like to do better.

So I’m going to start again at the beginning of next month, but I’m going to do things differently. December will be Figure Out the Parameters of How I’m Going to Structure My Novel Month. January will be Compose the Particulars of the Structure for My Novel Month, and the rest of the year will by my Novel Writing Year. It’s a longer period of time for a long project. I think this is more realistic, less rushed and panicky than National Novel Writing Month, and so I think I’m more likely to succeed. I will try again, at a less manic pace.

Wish me luck! I would appreciate any advice anyone might have to offer.

I’ve discovered myself during National Novel Writing Month. The exercise has helped me figure out with a bit more detail exactly who I am. I am… a person who is not really interested in writing fiction. I love to read fiction, and I love to write non-fiction. I thought the two would somehow combine into an interest in writing fiction. But no, no dice! I’ve been writing fiction for the past three days and it’s like driving a car with a really messed-up alignment. I keep on veering back into non-fiction. I’m writing little non-fiction passages from fictional non-fiction books inside my novel, and those are the parts of writing my “novel” that I enjoy the most. Getting back to the story and the plot and character development is so boring to me compared to that.

Up until right now, I’ve countered that tendency by taking a deep breath and diving right back in to the fictional parts. But why do that? I want, I very clearly want, to write non-fiction. I think I’m going to do that instead. Am I limiting myself? Maybe. Might I want to give fiction writing another shot some other year? Sure. But the situation is akin to my “new food” policy with my children; I won’t let them complain about and refuse food without at least trying one bite of it (I mean, you know, unless it’s horribly burnt or infused with radon or something like that). I’ve had my bites for now, three days’ worth of them, and right now I don’t like the dish. When my kids say they don’t like a food after tasting it, I’ll take it off their menu for a few months and then maybe try it again. Sometimes they like the food on the second go. Maybe I’ll enjoy writing a novel with my second attempt, even though I didn’t like it this time. We’ll see — next year.

I fear the title of this entry may be misleading but this is something that’s interested me for the last minute and a half.

A while back a article was written on the main page about British claiming territory in Antarctica (link) and was subsequently followed up in a diary by Iroquois (link) but a short while ago I found myself reflecting on the amusement I had partaken in that little gambit.

One of the things I got to thinking about was, what if I really did have a nation in Antarctica as well as everyone else who claimed territory there in the original posting? Granted my own nation wouldn’t end up taking up half the continent, but that’s beside the point.

Now I’m going to sit back and think about what kind of government I would found and what kind of policies would be set up and I’m going to try and be as thorough as I can (including little selfish items I’d like to have).

Now, I and a group of people along with myself arrive on Antarctica with one old ship, possibly a surplus World War 2 era U.S. cruiser, which I’ll call the Avalon and two very large wooden square-rigged merchant ships full of supplies which we’ll call the Achilles and the Soyuz (if any of you have a problem with this so far, eat me, this is MY story). We crack through a narrow area in the ice and arrive on land. I go ashore and plant my flag, my new nation has just been founded.

Let me start off with the basics.
- New Atlantis (in lieu of a better name)
- Government type: Representative Democratic Socialism
- Capitol Location: 63°14′5.02″S 57°15′25.15″W
- Draft a Constitution

Okay, we’ve got that out of the way, what’s first on the agenda? Well, we’re in Antarctica, and its cold. There’s very little (near nothing) by way of materials for construction and industry (unless we live in igloos) and we’ve gotta build a shelter of some sort. What are my options and what do we have at our disposal?

The ships are jam packed with cold weather gear, food, and various tools. However, the only materials we have to build with are the ships themselves. One of the first things I’d order would be one of the ships be dismantled and the wood used to construct living facilities. any piece of wood that can’t be used in constructing will be set aside for firewood.

- Dismantle the Soyuz, construct five communal living quarters and smaller storage sheds.

The sails from the ship will be stripped and used for extra blankets. For now, the Avalon will be used as a Capitol building.

Second on the agenda, food is looking good so far, but without being resupplied we will soon run out and be forced into cannibalism. I’d have to open contact with other nations and ask for help until we can become self sustaining. One of the first things to be purchased from a neighboring nation would have to be greenhouse equipment and plant seeds.

- Open contact with a close-by nation and request supplies.

Third on the agenda, crops are growing nicely and we even have some surplus. So, we trade them to a small nation for extra building supplies and solar generators. With the supplies we get we’ll construct further living quarters and greenhouse facilities.

- Secure further building materials and power-sources.

Now, some of my citizens will be growing restless at this time, so the next thing to do would be to send the Achilles along the coast and send a few people inland to scout possible sites for mining various ores that can be traded or sold. we can only last on the dependency of others for so long, so one of the top priorities of mine would be to find a way to make my nation economically stable. Because Antarctica is a vast frozen tract of nothingness, the only way to be able to do that would be to dig.

- Locate possible minerals for extracting.

Its been a while now and the Achilles has since returned as well as a number of the scouting parties. There are a few sites that can provide limited mining, but on the whole little else. After a time, enough revenue can be acquired from these mineral deposits to allow for the construction of larger living facilities as well as a general store with the next supply shipment to arrive on the Achilles from its last journey from Chile.

- Construct general store and further living facilities, try to allow more room for the citizens to expect some measure of privacy.

Soon I find a piece of mail on my desk aboard the Avalon from the French government requesting to set up a long-term research outpost in my nation. Apparently the conditions they’re looking to study are localized within my borders. With this comes an idea, I’ll rent them the land and make available to them my facilities at a low price. With this comes the added revenue of whatever the researches buy at my general store.

- Rent land to foreign nation for research purposes.

Now I have a steady income and I can afford another building, this time well stocked with research equipment. And because of the location of my nation and my capitol on the tip of the Antarctic Peninsula, I am in a position which places New Atlantis at a near highway for researchers traveling to various outposts in Antarctica and I’m starting to see an economic growth as scientists and researchers stop off to reequip themselves and spend a few nights in a warm bed in one of my new hotels. With this influx of visitors I’m finding more immigrants arriving and my capitol is starting to expand.

- Begin building more commercial areas, start laying down a concrete road system.
- Construct a solar and wind generated power plant.

Next thing I find is that I am being advised to start collecting official taxes and begin providing public services.

- Found the first official police department, fire department, hospital, educational system and set up a tax collectors office.

As more ships arrive on a regular basis and with the Avalon now firmly iced in I have to find a way to keep the waterways clear. After contacting a foreign nation to purchase a surplus icebreaker, I’ll have to consult with my city engineers about building a port to properly receive new ships.

- Build a harbor to allow easier loading and unloading of supplies, equipment, and personnel as well as an airport.

Now as my capitol grows, settlers are migrating outwards along the coat and founding new cities and finally I am faced with the growing need to build a military force to counter the acts of piracy that we’ve been experiencing along the trade routs. Currently my only form of defense is the Avalon but it is still being used as the administrative facility for my government. Beside the port I commission the construction of a drydock as well as the design and construction of three medium sized destroyers and two new cruisers.

- Found a Navy

The new cruisers are given the names USNA Vostok and USNA Lafayette while the destroyers are given the names USNA Tesla, USNA Cousteau, and USNA Scotia. As the Vostok, Cousteau, and Tesla are patrolling the shipping lanes and the Lafayette and the Scotia are anchored outside the harbor, I decide its best to put the drydock to further use and commission the construction of two large research vessels named the NAR Discovery and the NAR Endeavour and send them to conduct research at the behest of my scientific advisers.

- Begin scientific research into arctic conditions.

As my nation grows further I find more issues start to arise, including establishing an embassy and lobbying for entry into the United Nations. Also I find the need to establish a standing army and a space program.

- Contact Heckler & Koch, purchase 50 G36E assault rifles and 50 H&K416 assault rifles for a 100 man army.
- Construct space facility and reusable space vehicles.

This is just some of what I would do should I found my own Antarctic nation, just talking about some of the ways I would get things started. What would you do with your nation?

For a few years now I’ve had slight tinnitus. For those of you who have never heard of it, tinnitus is a ringing in the ear caused by exposure to unnatural loud noises and it can vary in intensity from just being perceptible in total silence to nearly or totally deafening. The mechanisms that cause this ringing are often torn fibers, called cochlear hair cells, in the eardrum. Its not a romanticized ailment like cancer or AIDS and is thus not well known but it is very prevalent to the point that about one in four people have reported a ringing of the ears. Its not a ringing that stops, and you can’t block it out because its not an external sound.

For years there has been no cure. For the better part of 30 or 40 years my dad has lived with it and has often said that in any given situation it is the loudest thing he can hear. When my ears started ringing after a concert about four or five years ago he told me there was nothing to be done and I’d just have to live with it. Back then I refused to believe there was nothing to be done because he hadn’t followed up on any medical advancements made since he was told about it.

Recently I found that there are things that can be done for it but I’ve also found that the next problem I’m facing is finding a doctor that even knows about tinnitus, even among audiologists. My dad has lived under the impression for so long that nothing can be done that he refuses to believe that nothing still can be done, even after finding a clinic in which they told him things can be done.

Now, a few hours ago I read an article that tells how stem cells can be used to stimulate the growth of cochlear hair cells in mice. With further research this could lead to a possible cure for things like tinnitus. This is an example of how Bush’s continued ban on stem cell research directly affects Americans. Not just a few, but one in four. People might ask me how a stem cell ban will affect me, and I can tell them that it deprives me of my right to silence.

The weekend before the attack, I was working, as usual, for one of New York’s mega-law firms on the 59th floor of the North Tower. I have no particular memory of that weekend. It was uneventful. Probably, at some point, I wandered around alone on one of the four floors that the firm occupied and availed myself of the view. I left work on Monday morning, at about 7:30 AM.

Next day, Tuesday, I got up to go to a 12-step meeting that was a few blocks south of the World Trade Center. The meeting, which was my home group at the time, met from 7:30 to 8:30. Usually, from there, I went to my current job, which was teaching ESL at a private school about a mile north of the Twin Towers. However, my hours had been cut, so I wasn’t going to work. So, my wife argued with me about the meeting, and I ended up not going.

Shortly after 9:00 AM, a friend of my wife’s called her to tell us a plane had hit the World Trade Center. I think she said “a small business jet.” I was concerned but not overly upset. During WWII, a fighter-bomber had hit the Empire State Building. I turned on the TV, and it was immediately obvious that this was no small plane. Shortly after, my wife and I went outside to the nearest street corner, which was line-of-sight to the towers. Along with hundreds of neighbors, we watched the huge plume of smoke for a few minutes, and then we went back inside. On TV I saw the second plane hit, and immediately realized that this was some kind of a terrorist attack. We went out again to watch but nothing much could be seen because of the smoke.

A few minutes later, on TV, I saw the South Tower fall. I refused to believe my eyes. We went out again and I swore I could see the tower hidden in the smoke. We went back inside and saw the North Tower fall. We went back outside. Soon, we were aware of crowds of people walking north away from the site, covered with dust. It took us a moment to realize that these were people fleeing the disaster. At one point my wife and I helped a tall, well-dressed old man, in his seventies, who stumbled and almost fell in front of us. As we caught him, he sobbed: “I feel so guilty!”

The next few hours were a nightmare of police cars, fire trucks, helicopters, etc. The fall of the towers was played over the air over and over again. At one point, my wife and I walked over to the local hospital, St. Vincents, with the idea of giving blood. There was already a huge line. Standing by the emergency room entrance were several dozen teams of paramedics, nurses and doctors, each with a gurney, ready to receive the survivors who never came. I could see the pain and fear on their faces as they stood there with those empty gurneys. We went home after awhile.

In the late afternoon, I determined to volunteer to help. I walked along the West Side Highway along with a bunch of construction workers who had been working on a building site in mid-town. We went through several lines of police to reach a location about a quarter mile north of WTC 7, which was still in flames. At that point, there were thousands of people milling around: local residents, people like myself who wanted to help and construction workers, paramedics, etc., who had genuinely useful skills.

After awhile, it was evident to me that there was nothing I could do personally. I watched WTC 7 being slowly engulfed in flames. It was obvious it was going to fall soon. I’m not a morbid type, so I walked home slowly as it got dark. I passed through Greenwich Village as I walked. The bars were full, but I was amazed that some people seemed to be relatively calm. As I walked though my neighborhood, Chelsea, people were already setting up the little shrines with candles that were all over the City for the next few months.

At home, my wife watched the videos of the towers falling and the streets filled with debris over and over. After awhile, I stopped watching. We eventually fell asleep at some point early in the morning. It was a bad day: a very bad day.

A wave rising up
establishes its descent
even as it swells.

I was at an ice cream shop yesterday evening, buying a scoop of ice cream for my son after his first day at school. As I was standing in line, I saw a a row of boxes on the shelf next to me, with a label that read “Traditional Crepe Mix”.

Some people may be too removed from their rural roots to remember the days when the folk would work in the fields by day, and come home at dusk with baskets full of their traditional crepe mixes, to use for the following week’s breakfasts.

Where has that tradition gone? Don’t leave the old ways behind. Show your traditional values. Go buy a crepe mix.

This morning, my six year-old son walked up to me with a clever kind of smile and asked, “Dad, have you had your coffee yet, and if you did, did it taste different this time?”

Foreclosures on homes are at their highest levels in 40 years, according to the Mortgage Bankers Association. These are due to people getting home loans with very high interest rates, while their wages do not go up. Also, some very tricky loan terms are out there that end up hitting people with extra charges if they do not pay all their bills on time — even bills that are not for your house! If you are part of Oprah’s Book Club and don’t pay her the regular fees on time you could get your mortgage kicked up under this very bad fine print.

I am spreading the word on this because my brother and sister-in-law have been taken in by real estate scammers and they are going to lose their home. Where will they raise their kids? I do not know. Please. If you are buying a home, read every word of all that fine print they say you don’t need to read. It could save you some real heartache down the road.

I would like to create a database of people who are connected.  These people are the ones who feature in our press.  These people seem “connected” and seem to have special treatment.  People like Cherie Blairs relations and friends or Tony Blairs relations and friends.

It would be very interesting to find out information about these people as they are at the top of the tree in our society. We could use them as role models or hate models depending on your particular system of values.

I would like this database to be a visual one with little spidersweb joining each one to others.

Just how connected are the likes of Paris Hilton and Gordon Brown

The people connected through business would be interesting.

What do you think of this idea.  I will be able to contribute to the computing aspect in June (presently enrolled in a study course) but require a connected person to supply the content.

Well I’ve gone for a vacation to see my friends in the United Kingdom and have since returned home to the USA. What have I found out on my trip there? Lots of big things (rationality for the most part) and some small things (including tax in the listed prices). I’ve found different attitudes as well; people don’t feel a need to run their mouths like Americans do while at the same time I didn’t feel ignored like I do walking down the streets in the USA. It’s really a change from the things I’m used to. Statistically I believe the UK has more CCTV cameras than any other nation in Europe and yet I didn’t feel like I was being spied upon like I do here in the USA. These are things people don’t usually think about until they see a new country.

But there are other topics I’d like to talk about; a couple of which I’m sure will get the CIA on my ass.

When I got home I found a packet waiting for me. It was from an e-bay order I’d placed before I left. I now have a big old 3′x5′ USSR flag hanging up on my bedroom wall. Now allow me to re-print what I’ve already posted on an online journal I keep regarding this flag.

I don’t like what the USSR did to the people in its territory, nor do I like what Stalin did during his time in office. These things, these human rights violations, disgust me.

The reason I display this flag in my room is because it is easily recognized as a communist symbol. I, myself, am a democratic socialist but because there are no socialist flags that can be quickly recognized, and because socialism and communism are so closely related, I display the hammer and sickle because it is the closest thing that mirrors my political and economic views. Then, when someone questions its presence, I can take the time to explain it to them (like I am now doing).

I don’t mean to offend anyone by hanging up this flag (unless they start bitching me out about it while making no valid points against it [or unless I don’t like them anyway]), I am merely stating a political and economic view.

…that and it looks cool.

Now, what else do I want to talk about? Ahh, a movie I’m fond of: Silent Hill. Has anyone bothered to watch this film? It’s a movie adaptation of a video game (don’t groan yet) and I’ve found it to be one of, if not the best game adaptations I’ve ever seen. It holds to the game’s atmosphere while also exploring new themes. It’s a film I’d recommend to those who even aren’t fond of video games, just keep in mind that it’s a horror film and likely not something you’ll want to show to your kids if you don’t enjoy them seeing people getting killed.

It also has a theme that I have dubbed “Christianity Run Amok” as well as a scene that I call “The Almighty Titty Twister.” If you decide to see the movie, you’ll know it when you see it. To those of you who have seen it, try not to give away any spoilers.

In other news I’ve also been taking an interest in photography as well. I still enjoy target shooting with firearms and the two share commonalties but I also find it nice to be able to capture my target on film rather than blowing holes in it. Though photography doesn’t give that adrenaline rush that the contained explosions of target shooting gives. Still, fun times are to be had by both.

Also I’ve found the joys of this website deviantART.com and I’ve also got an account there where I post my photography (which can be found here if anyone is interested).

Well, I think I’m going to wrap this up. I know this doesn’t really have anything to do with politics or religion, but to tell the truth I’ve found the subject of both to be…depressing. I wanted to talk about some other things tonight, things of a more personal nature because…well, I’m not gonna yank a reason out of my ass, I just wanted to talk about something else for a change. I’ll be back to my political and religious stuffs in my next post.

Whatever your religion may be (or lack thereof) Happy Holidays!

…and fuck you too, Bill O’Reilly.

A confession about socks and size: I