Holy things are happening everywhere! Just as Irregular Times brings us news of an image of the Great Polar Bear Spirit that has appeared in the old split wood of a fence, News Buscuit tells us of another miracle.
Praise the Holy Roly Poly Polar Bear! An image of toast has appeared on a statue of the Virgin Mary!
This changes everything we thought about the Trinity. Now we can see that it isn’t about the Father, the Son, and the Holy Ghost. It has been now revealed through this set of divine visions that the true Trinity is formed from the Mother, the Bear, and the Holy Toast. This also changes the meaning of the parable of the creation of fishes and loaves by Jesus. The loaves obviously came from the Holy Toast, and the fishes came from the Great Polar Bear Spirit. Bears love to eat fish, if they can get it.
The crucial question now is this: Why didn’t the Virgin Mary give anything for the meal? Is there domestic discord in the Trinity?