In this case, that snobbery caused Irregular Times to miss an amazing story – one that is only being hinted at by Houston Chronicle today in an article with the headline Sheen lingers 2 weeks after Port Arthur oil spill.

A Sheen is lingering this oil spill – but which Sheen, and why? Clearly, it’s not Martin Sheen. He’s always been responsible. Apparently, the Houston Chronicle doesn’t believe that it has enough corroborating sources to go fully public with the story yet, but we all know who it is. It’s the Sheen who’s always getting in trouble: Charlie Sheen. If there’s any Sheen who would linger around the scene of a disaster, it’s Charlie Sheen.

The question we now need to ask ourselves is: Why? All we need to do is follow the smell of oil to the next Charlie Sheen story to find the answer. On Friday, it was reported that Charlie Sheen’s SUV was found crashed at the bottom of a cliff – and it was empty. There was no sign of any blood, or struggle, on the inside. How could that have happened?

The truth seems clear: Charlie Sheen knows something about the oil spill in Texas, something that none of the rest of us have been told about. Charlie is on the trail of a truth that’s thick, dark, and oozing slime. Someone sent Charlie’s SUV flying down into a ravine as a warning that he had better back off – or else.

We don’t know for sure where Charlie Sheen is now – off in some mysterious place along the Texas Gulf Coast, hiding out, waiting for them to arrive for the final showdown, lingering until the moment of truth. We can only trust that Sheen will get to the bottom of this slick enigma, as surely as his SUV got to the bottom of that cliff.

Go, Charlie, go!

Now, scientists at the University of Utah are reporting that Yellowstone is experiencing an unprecendented number of earthquakes. The scientists cannot explain what is causing the earthquakes.

A mysterious, unexplained force is moving beneath Yellowstone, causing a huge number of earthquakes in the region. It is known that Yellowstone has erupted cataclysmically in the past, causing destruction and death across the entire North American continent.

Are you now so willing to dismiss my warnings, or will you finally prepare your underground shelters?

World Ocean Day matters as a holiday of solemn observance especially now because the Earth’s marine ecosystems are falling apart as a result of a combination of pollution, coastal development, climate change, and overfishing. Think of the devastation of the once-great herds of bison on the American plains, or the destrution of rain forests in Brazil, and you’ll get an idea of the extent of ecological devastation that is occurring right now in the oceans. The plight of marine life would be difficult to overstate. It’s a full-fledged ecological crisis around the world, and the only reason you aren’t seeing it is that you don’t live underwater.

What can you do? Convincing people to recognize the problem, and start thinking about solutions, is an important step. First, you can encourage the United Nations to start officially observing World Ocean Day once more. Sign Oceana’s petition to the United Nations asking for official observance of World Ocean Day to begin once more. Don’t stop there, though. You can send an email directly to the Division for Ocean Affairs and the Law of the Sea at the United Nations with a similar message, at DOALOS@UN.org.

Secondly, you don’t have to wait for official recognition from the United Nations. On June 8th, you can observe World Ocean Day yourself. Go to the Ocean Project’s page of resources on World Ocean Day for ideas.

Don’t think that you can’t do anything for the ocean if you live inland. Even in places like North Dakota, all streams eventually flow to the sea. Agricultural runoff and industrial pollution far upstream still has a big impact on ocean life. Many things that we buy, including but in addition to seafood, include elements that are harvested from ocean.

World Ocean Day can be a day for all people to consider how their lives interact with ocean life, and to take action to make that relationship a more healthy one.