Irregular Times Diaries: Unfit Discussion

Bradford Braley, who apparently got the privilege of conducting an officially-sanctioned big government worship service in front of the House of Representatives last week just because he’s the brother of Congressman Bruce Braley, dropped the ball.

Braley had the chance to pray for an end to the oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico, but what did he do? He prayed for a little emotional manipulation instead.

He prayed, “Inspire a sense of awe and wonder at the bountiful resources of this land, and in light of the environmental tragedy in the Gulf of Mexico, may we humbly dedicate ourselves to preserving and protecting those resources.”

Braley had the chance to stand before the most powerful legislature on Earth, and to pray to his supernatural, all powerful deity, but all he asked for was for his deity to inspire a sense of awe, and to encourage people humbly dedicate themselves? If his God is truly as all-powerful, why didn’t Bradford Braley just ask his God to make the oil spill go away?

Does Braley not really believe in the power of prayer, or was he just being stingy?

Government-appointed Chaplain Barry C. Black was at it again yesterday, preaching bizarre Christian religious prophecies from the floor of the United States Senate. This time, Chaplain Black begged his deity to unleash some kind of weird cosmic attack against the Earth.

“God of grace and glory, pour Your power on Your people!” he prayed.

I hope Black’s prayer isn’t answered. Having God’s power poured onto me sounds kind of sticky.

Yesterday, the official government-paid Chaplain of the United States Senate made special time in the legislative day for a government-established ritual of Christian prayer. The prayer was given by Timothy Keller of the Redeemer Presbyterian Church in New York City, who begged his Christian God to “empower us, as a nation, to love all that You do command.”

You know, where I come from empowerment refers to a state in which people are able to create the means to act according to their own consciences. Empowerment as I understand it does not refer to the ability to learn to love the things that one is commanded to do. Where I come from, we call learning to love the things we are commanded to do as surrender or acquiescence or submission.

I don’t particularly appreciate some preacher being given a designated government-funded pulpit in order to preach that I should become the happy slave of his deity. In an empowered nation, there’s a separation of church and state to prevent that sort of thing.

Hi, I’m God. You probably have seen my show on QVC, where I sell Tupperware and collectible figurines. Most people don’t know that I also work part time as a political consultant, though.

In fact, I was hired a few months ago by Alaska Governor Sarah Palin. She wanted some advice on a natural gas pipeline. I told her absolutely not to approve of it, that it was against my will.

But did Sarah Palin take my advice? Oh, no. She got up in front of the Wasilla Assemblies of God church and proclaimed that the natural gas pipeline is the will of God.

I think it’s time to set the record straight, which is why I made the following video podcast. People deserve to know the truth about Sarah Palin, I think.

There is, underneath the surface of constitutional, secular law in the United States, a seething conspiracy to replace the current American government with a Christian theocracy.

The conspiracy has been announced by Republican Congressman Paul Broun from Georgia, who proclaimed on the floor of the U.S. House of Representatives:

“I pray, Lord: You are sovereign and completely in control of all things, and I acknowledge Your awesome power and authority. All things are in Your control, and nothing is too small or too great to bring before You.”

A member of Congress is part of the theocratic conspiracy, and has announced his intention to make Christian religion sovereign over the government of the USA, and “completely in control of all things”. An aspiring American ayatollah, Paul Broun, may expect to be made part of the Grand Christian Rulership Council under which we will all be forced to submit to his “awesome power and authority”.

Oops. I meant to say God’s awesome power and authority. Paul Broun doesn’t represent God in Congress, does he?