Irregular Times Diaries: Unfit Discussion

Hi, I’m God. You probably have seen my show on QVC, where I sell Tupperware and collectible figurines. Most people don’t know that I also work part time as a political consultant, though.

In fact, I was hired a few months ago by Alaska Governor Sarah Palin. She wanted some advice on a natural gas pipeline. I told her absolutely not to approve of it, that it was against my will.

But did Sarah Palin take my advice? Oh, no. She got up in front of the Wasilla Assemblies of God church and proclaimed that the natural gas pipeline is the will of God.

I think it’s time to set the record straight, which is why I made the following video podcast. People deserve to know the truth about Sarah Palin, I think.

I am so sick and tired of hearing people say that the sky is falling, and talk about global warming as if it is actually taking place. Why do they keep suppressing the truth? Why won’t they let the public hear about the real scientific measurements that are taking place?

There is an alternative hypothesis that the liberal media never talks about: The Solar Hypothesis. The Solar Hypothesis acknowledges that there was a period of warming, but observes that temperatures in many places on Earth are now actually cooling! It’s true! It’s happening right now, and if you don’t believe me, then I challenge you to start observing temperatures yourself instead of just accepting what Al Gore is telling you.

The Solar Hypothesis holds that there are cycles of warming and cooling of the Earth’s atmosphere, but that these cycles of warming and cooling happen because of differences in the intensity of energy from the Sun as it hits the Earth, not because of human pollution.

The truth that Al Gore doesn’t want you to know is that temperatures all across the United States have been getting cooler for a long time now – for months, since late August last year.

Will there be a warming trend after this cooling trend is done? Sure. That’s only natural. In fact, scientists who adhere to the Solar Hypothesis predict that there will be a short warming trend starting sometime soon and extending to the end of July, all across the Northern Hemisphere.

But, right now, there is a cooling trend, not global warming! This cooling trend is part of a cycle, which real scientists understand. It gets warmer, and colder, and warmer again. Nothing to worry about.

This morning, for example, there was a region-wide warming trend, and maybe that’s what the global warming econuts are all worried about. But, there is a current cooling trend. The Solar Hypothesis predicts this, noting that the effect of the sun is getting weaker right now, and is weakening all the time. At 6:05, as I write this, the temperature is about 45 degrees, but by the end of the night, it could well be below freezing!

Take that, Al Gore. How is that global warming? The temperature is getting colder, you envirofascist!

Never mind what the scientific establishment says about this study and that study. You know, you can get research to say anything you want to. You can trust me because I’m asking you to think logically, and I trust your intelligence, unlike those pointy headed university welfare cases.

Just look around you and think. While you slept last night, dreaming the Green dreams that the Earth Firsters put into your head, the USA was getting colder, not warmer! Well, how could it be getting cooler if there is global warming?

You know the answer. It can’t! Global warming is a hoax.

For the benefit of readers who don’t know me: Wink!

Holy things are happening everywhere! Just as Irregular Times brings us news of an image of the Great Polar Bear Spirit that has appeared in the old split wood of a fence, News Buscuit tells us of another miracle.

Praise the Holy Roly Poly Polar Bear! An image of toast has appeared on a statue of the Virgin Mary!

This changes everything we thought about the Trinity. Now we can see that it isn’t about the Father, the Son, and the Holy Ghost. It has been now revealed through this set of divine visions that the true Trinity is formed from the Mother, the Bear, and the Holy Toast. This also changes the meaning of the parable of the creation of fishes and loaves by Jesus. The loaves obviously came from the Holy Toast, and the fishes came from the Great Polar Bear Spirit. Bears love to eat fish, if they can get it.

The crucial question now is this: Why didn’t the Virgin Mary give anything for the meal? Is there domestic discord in the Trinity?

Last night Barack Obama campaign staffer Christopher Hass admitted that Senator Obama relies on the help of his subordinates to run his campaign for him:

“Thank you to everyone who helped canvass, made phone calls, and contributed to one of the largest voter registration drives that Pennsylvania has ever seen, resulting in a record number of registered Pennsylvania Democrats.”

See? Barack Obama is a weak, weak man who cannot be Commander In Chief from Day One! He can’t even campaign for President on his own. He needs helpers to go out and make telephone calls to make things easier for him!

They said this on Barack Obama’s official campaign web site!

Barack Obama isn’t strong enough to stand up to his opponents. Also, he is being too tough on Hillary Clinton.

Furthermore, Barack Obama was made a secret genetic Muslim as a toddler, in a ceremony by his atheist father. That’s why I’m glad that Hillary Clinton has exposed Barack Obama’s terrible involvement in the Christian Trinity Church in Chicago.

Finally, Obama’s feet smell… and he doesn’t like oatmeal!

Obama bad man!