The Ribald Reign of King George the Second

Redefining "Full Disclosure"

"The very first hour of the very first day, we will restore honor and integrity to the White House." - Dick Cheney on the campaign trail

Remember the campaign? Remember how the candidates Cheney and Bush lambasted their opponents for ethical lapses? Remember the promises for a scandal-free Presidency? A Presidency based on honor and integrity? A Presidency for the people? A Reformer with Results?

Yuck, get me a towel. I hate campaign slogans. But what really gets my dander up is how tangled a self-righteous tizzy Dick and George managed to get themselves into in the campaign, only to sink into their own self-generated muck once they took (literally) office.

The particular muck I'm thinking of was trudged in by the muckety-mucks who paid Dick and George's way during the campaign and who cleaned their boots on the carpet of the Lincoln Bedroom - the energy industry. Turns out that 109 of them and theirs were entertained by Energy Secretary Spencer Abraham, who was "too busy" to listen to a single solitary member of an environmental organization (don't believe me? Look it up in the New York Times).

Not that we'll get any more information about just what happened in the smoke-filled rooms of the White House, not without a fight. Even when the principle of the law, backup up by federal courts, demanded that Dick and George disclose the contents of their energy task force meetings, these two refused, blanking out page after page after page after page of records instead. Heck, there are eleven pages of notes just cataloguing all the blanking out they've done.

You wanted a President who worked for the people? This is what he's given you; This is what he means by "disclosure":

"Let Them Eat White-Out" seems to be the operative principle here...

...Um, excuse me for a minute here...John Ashcroft has just reminded me that criticism of Republican authority figures "in time of war" is morally treasonous. Well, gosh, I take it all back. Dick and George are the smartest, keenest, best dressed, most morally upright, ethicaliminable good Christian leaders the world has ever see, save Jesus. It must all be a conspiracy drummed up by Osama Bin Laden to make Saint George and the Holy Dick look like corrupt bastards. Tricky work by them Ay-rabs - you never can tell, can you?

Aisles of idiocies (I mean, brilliant insights) straight from the brain of Dick "Dr. Evil" (I mean, "Good Guy") Cheney can be found at the official website of The Ribald Reign of King George the Second (Whoops, I mean the best-darn-tootin-rip-roarin-sunofagun Presidency since Ol' Hickory's!).

Cmon, kids! Let's sing along to "The Kennebunkport Hillbilly".

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