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irregular times logoFighting the War on Terror

Gird your loins
with a steel studded, big-buckle belt.
Put on your button-fly, copper riveted jeans
Wear the shoes with metal shanks
and hard eyelets for your laces,
tied tight.
Keep your laptop in its bag.
Leave your change in your pocket.
Grip your house keys in your fist.
Send your photographic film,
full of undeveloped pictures of your summer vacation,
through the machine to be erased.
Don't unzip your winter coat.
Bring a deluxe Swiss Army knife,
packed with more devices than you will ever use.
Chew three sticks of gum, and put the foil wrappers in your back pocket.
Forget your boarding pass.
Lose your license.
As you walk through the gate,
and the alarms sound around you,
say no
when they ask you if it is all right
if they pass their wands all over you,
pat you down,
for the sake of everyone's safety.
Just keep walking.
Then, when they catch up to you
and grab you by the shoulders
to pull you down,
say calmly but clearly,
so they can hear and strike,
I am a bomb.
I am a bomb.
I am a bomb.
You are the terrorist they have been looking for at this small town airport all these years.
They've got you.
They can stop searching now.

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