Are you an evildoer?
You may be an evildoer.
Is the mark of the Beast upon you? A beast is as a beast does, and lately, George W. Bush has been acting rather beastly, a wolf in boy's clothing.
Establishing a national "Homeland Security" network of government agents to spy on the private lives of American citizens, withholding support to education, cutting funds for children's hospitals, waging unprovoked wars based on secret evidence that never turned out to exist, and putting America in the deepest debts since the Reagan years so that he can give special tax giveaways to corporations and the wealthiest one percent.
Where is this Homeland that Bush keeps talking about, anyway? Here's a secret: you'll never find it. Why? You're an evildoer, that's why.
Bush's Homeland is a place specially made for good Americans, those who know how to do their duty. Like Shangri-La, the Homeland is secretly hidden and protected from evildoers so that they can never find it.
Don't believe that you're an evildoer? There's a simple test to confirm that you are. When Bush proposes a new war, do you have qualms? When Bush demands the largest increases in military spending in American history, do you ask for an explanation? Do you not have an American flag waving outside your house every day of the year? Do you have doubts about the Bush Administration's reductions of Americans' constitutional freedoms?
George W. Bush said it himself - you're either with him or you're against him. Bush is waging a war against evildoers, and if you don't give 100 percent support to everything that he does as a part of this crusade, he says that you're aiding and abetting the Enemy.
That makes you an evildoer.
You may not be part of the Bilderberg Group, or the Trilateral Commission, or the Illuminati's secret New World Order. Maybe you feel like you're just some little nobody in a little corner all your own, but if you question Bush just one little bit, you're an evildoer. The Homeland has no place for evildoers.
I have had a vision. In November of 2004, a Day of Judgment will be visited upon America. On this day, George W. Bush will climb into the seat of the most powerful office on the face of the Earth, and he will watch. Bush will watch to see who is with him, and who is against him.
There will be no escape from this Day of Judgment, for even those who try to avoid taking sides will be judged, and will be forced to live under the reign of the new Emperor along with everyone else.
The time has come for evildoers to declare themselves. We must not wait for Bush's agents to identify us, investigate us, wiretap our homes and transform us into "enemy combatants" in indefinite detention. We have doubted Bush in our hearts, and must now own up to our failure to stand with him.
Be a good evildoer. Wear your mark with pride.
Irregular Times require talking back.
Give us your Irregular Retorts!
We are also eagerly awaiting original submissions of quality irregularity.