The Ribald Reign of King George the Second

The Kennebunkport Hillbilly

by CrazyDave, guest contributor

Sung to the tune of "The Beverly Hillbillies" :

Come and listen to my story 'bout a man name Bush
IQ was zip and his head was up his tush
Drank like a fish then he drove his car about
But that didn't matter 'cuz his daddy bailed him out
Drunk, he was. Crim-in-able. Cov-er up.

Well the next thing you know Daddy got him into Yale
Never went to class but they wouldn't let him fail
Spent all his finals hangin' out with student folk
and that's where he learned how to snort a line of coke
Blow, that is. White gold. Bolivian tea.

Well the next thing you know there's a war in Vietnam
Kin folks said "Georgey stay at home with Mom
Ain't like us rich to get shot and maimed and scarred
So we'll get you a spot in the Texas Nash'nal Guard."
Air that is. State side. Home with Mom.

Well it's twenty years or later and he gets a little bored
Claims no more booze, and that "Jesus is my Lord"
Says "In the White House is the place I ought'ta be"
So he telephones his daddy then they called the GOP
Oil that is, big oil, Texaco tea.

Well around election time 'sults are runnin' kinda late
Kin folk said "Jeb, give the boy your state!"
"Ain't like those colored folks to make it to the polls"
"So they cut off all their roads and they couldn't punch their holes
Chads, that is. Butterflies. Sunshine State.

Then before the votes were tallied five Court Justices stepped in
Say to themselves "Hey, we want our George to win!"
"Stop counting votes" was their order of the day
Let's forget about this nonsense and we'll swear him in today!
Rigged, that is. Il-le-git-imable! Immoral authority.

(play banjo solo in your head now)

Y'all go vote now. ' Hear?

Additional absurdities straight from His Majesty's Royal T-ball Field can also be found at the official website of The Ribald Reign of King George the Second.

Absurd times call for Absurd poetry. Check out Bush Haiku.

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