Department of Homeland Insecurity Information Center

Attention: This is the Department of Homeland Insecurity, not the Department of Homeland Security. If you're looking for the Department of Homeland Security, then get on all fours and crawl toward your bedroom window blinds. Peek outside. See the guy trying to hide behind the telephone pole, taking notes as he watches your home and the homes of your neighbors? That's the Department of Homeland Security.

You might say that the Department of Homeland Insecurity, created here by Irregular Times, is a kind of shadow government. Like the Department of Homeland Security, we at the Department of Homeland Insecurity are always watching. However, instead of watching the private lives of American citizens, as the Homeland Security people do, we watch the government. We watch the watchers, you might say, taking note of the secretive attacks against American liberty perpetrated in the name of homeland security.

You see, unlike much of the rest of America, we refuse to become citizens of the Homeland. Honestly, we don't even know where this Homeland everyone keeps talking about really is. We still live in the United States of America, where the Constitution, not the manipulation of fear, is the highest source of law and order.

We've been watching the creeping activities of Homeland Security ever since that wretched department was created, and we'll keep watching until it is abolished and true liberty returns as the law of the land.