So Reuters reports that the Arabic newspaper al-Hayat will release a statement by a wing of al Qaeda tomorrow which says it hopes Bush wins the election and Kerry loses.
The statement addresses Bush personally, saying it hopes he wins in November because it wasn’t possible to find someone “more foolish than you (Bush), who deals in matters by force rather than wisdom…. Kerry will kill our nation while it sleeps because he and the Democrats have the cunning to embellish blasphemy and present it to the Arab and Muslim nation as civilization. Because of this we desire you (Bush) to be elected.”
In reacting to this piece of news, I found myself doing a triple-take:
1) Oh, come on. This is so obviously an early April Fools’ joke. I mean, the author of the supposed Reuters piece is named “Opheera McDoom”?
2) Whoah, there really is a reporter for Reuters named Opheera McDoom. OK, maybe this is real. al Qaeda supports Bush — y’see? y’see?
3) Well, hang on a minute. If al Qaeda wrote this, then it’s clear that al Qaeda is made up of juvenile morons — which is entirely possible. The text of the statement sounds like some bad movie script, like where the Russian terrorist says “We hate you Americans… and your Freeeeeeeedom!” What posers! I mean they’re going to criticize Bush for “dealing with matters by force rather than with wisdom?” Hello, 9/11? Hello, Madrid?
I might feel differently in the morning. But tonight, I’m staying put with my third reaction and elaborating further: this is a stupid statement by a bunch of losers, and violent losers at that. Fuck them. The reason to oppose Bush is not because some terrorists say they like Bush. The problem with Bush is that Bush actually pays attention to terrorists and gives them the limelight, making them appear bigger and more important than they really are. It’s not because the terrorists said “we desire Bush to be elected” that Bush is so wrong for the country. Bush is wrong for America because Bush and the terrorists, independent of what these asshole terrorists said, actually do exist in a perverse symbiosis. Bush needs al Qaeda to scare Americans so he can play out his Sheriff fantasy. al Qaeda needs Bush to toss money and lives down the rabbit hole because they could never cause so much death and disruption on their own.
So screw the terrorists and their stupid little message, regardless of the fact that their “al Qaeda for Bush” message might be politically convenient to people like me who like neither group. And screw Bush for doing the dance with the terrorists, with the pair leaving chaos and loss in their wake.
