It is a time of fear in the face of freedom, a time for the widening of previous roads and the opening of new paths, a time of an emptying country and swelling cities, yet a time when these paths are mined by knowing algorithms of the all-seeing eye. It is the time of the warrior's peace and the miser's charity, when the planting of a seed is an act of conscientious objection.
 | Freak Out: Your Patriotic Duty! |
More news on the flowerbox terrorist firecracker attacks:
It turns out that the two firecrackers set off were toy grenades shaped like a lemon and a pineapple!
Aaaaagh! Do you know what this means? It means that you no longer can feel safe in the produce aisle of your corner grocery store! Think about it: is that really a lemon you’re bringing home to juice? Do you really want to give it a squeeze to test its ripeness? And what’s with the pineapple your neighbor’s put in her cart? Is she expecting the Hawaiian Punch that her grocery sack will be Doled out in the backseat of her Hummer on the way home? Think about it: scrambled eggs all over the insides of the windows — now we all know that’s a terrifying prospect for the hygenically inclined!
You laugh — well, stop right there, misters and misses — that’s just what the terrorists would want!
“Just a couple of toy grenades” — Hah! It is not your patriotic duty to utter such phrases. No — it is your patriotic duty to freak out, as long and as loudly as possible! To keep the terrorists marginalized, we must pay huge amounts of attention to every event that might possibly have anything to do with a terrorist attack. To keep the terrorists from changing our way of life, we must change our way of life first — before the terrorists do it.
Well, don’t just sit there reading this post! Didn’t you hear me? Stand up! Wave your arms! Wail! Run screaming into the streets! Because you just don’t know — your flowerbox could be next! Be afraid citizens, be afraid!
Distracted? Good job. Now our leaders can pass some controversial legislation without you noticing.
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Hey, wait a minute. It is not patriotic enough just to run out into the streets! You have to run around in circles, too, shouting United We Stand!
Comment by furrjen — 5/5/2005 @ 1:46 pm
My, My…How convenient…Another attack on our shores. Tell me: is anyone else out there getting the least bit suspicious of all this crap? Or is it just me getting paranoid/delusional? Seems every time that the American people start actually thinking independently, someone lets off a firecracker, the neocons scream,”Terror alert! Everybody stop thinking!”, or something of that nature; then we all seem to lose a few more freedoms…in the sacred name of “Security”. God almighty, whenever I hear that word, I’m reminded again of what Reinhard Heydrich was in charge of: the Reich SECURITY Service. This stuff scares the hell out of me…
Comment by mike — 5/5/2005 @ 2:08 pm
I really don’t see your big deal about it. It was a brief news blast (no pun intended), and seems over. When I just checked two of the sites mentioned a lot, cnn.com and fox, they had main stories on the Blair election. Just prior to that, it was a headline about the runaway bride story because her apology was just released.
They all grab the story of the minute to snag your attention. I don’t see that they gave the amatuer bomb story much more than its 15 minutes (or in today’s world more like 15 seconds) than most any other story, like Michael Jackson, someone signing a big football contact, Paris Hilton’s wax statue or latest nob job, etc, etc.
It looks like one in a thousand.
Also someone mentioned why the ambulance if no one was hurt? I guess that’s an obvious answer, but here goes. They always dispatch them overcautiously. I believe they were looking for follow-on devices as a precaution, and if one went off, they’d have an ambulance there.
My neighbor had trouble breathing the other day (long term health issues), and I counted 2 ambulances, 2 firetrucks, 2 cop cars.
(I don’t know how one guy could ride in two ambulances, maybe they could have switched him halfway to the hospital). That’s just what they do. Doesn’t have anything to do with terrorism.
Comment by mondopercipient — 5/6/2005 @ 6:16 am
Mondopercipient, actually I checked those sites throughout the day, and for most of the day throughout the day they carried it as their top story, as did msnbc.com. This post is also a reaction to some Republican reaction, which was basically that this incident “showed” that we all need to be really scared and do the “united we stand” bit, yet again.
Comment by J. Matthew — 5/6/2005 @ 6:44 am
Yes, Mondopercipient. The whole point of these articles is that they dispatched the ambulances “overcautiously” - that’s using your phrase, but I think a better word would be overzealously. People were too quick, too eager to find Osama Bin Laden running down Madison Avenue. It’s as if the Republican shouters on the TV news wanted it to be an Al Quaida attack - that they think an Al Quaida attack is just what America needs right now.
Comment by Ferrah — 5/6/2005 @ 6:48 am
Well, I can understand more than enough ambulances coming when someone’s actually hurt, but this doesn’t even sound that big…
The people opposite us had their front garden’s wall smashed in by a car. Bit of car, lots of glass and rubble. No ambulance though. The police came about an hour later (from around the corner, about a five minutes walk away).
I guess the damage was more likely to have been done to whoever was in the car, but when a whole wall comes down on a populated street where people were walking? Hm…
Maybe someone called the ambulance out of panic.
As for the wanting to hear about terrorists… It’s like a mix between kids wanting to hear scary stories and people who just don’t want to admit that they’re not as important as they think they are.
Comment by HareTrinity — 5/6/2005 @ 7:53 am
I won’t doubt you that “for most of the day throughout the day they carried it as their top story”. I was in a hotel Saturday and was having some breakfast and then killing some time in the lobby, and most of the morning the cable news that they had on was about the “runaway bride”.
I think they call it “a slow news day”. Something blowing up is always good for some interest. By your same logic, the cable show was warning me to be on the lookout for fiances on the lam.
As to Farrah’s comment about the ambulance being there,”I think a better word would be overzealously.” I don’t care which word you use, either is fine. Like I said, when my neighbor called 911 with trouble breathing, TWO ambulances showed up, with two firetrucks and two police cars. WHY? Did they think he was a terrorist too? Last night a saw a minor fender bender in the Post Office parking lot, and TWO police cars were there for a long time. They must have thought those people were terrorist too, I suppose.
From what I observe, Ferrah’s “overzealousness” is their practice for just about every situation, terrorist possibility or not. I don’t see where this situation rates any less attention than any other situation where they get involved in.
Also, I realize you’re being tongue-in-cheek with the main post, but these correctly weren’t ‘firecrackers’ and they weren’t really placed in ‘flowerboxes’. They were dummy grenade casings filled with gunpowder and lit with a fuse. These dummy grenades are often used for training in the practice of grenade-throwing, so they simulate the weight of a real grenade. They are sold also as novelties, allowed by law because they don’t contain real explosives as sold. But they are not ‘toys’. Somebody actually built them as a destructive device. And the ‘flower boxes’ are more correctly barricades that they put plants in so that they don’t appear as quite the eyesore they are. But their purpose is to deter people with car bombs.
I agree with you that this has not been proven to be anything yet. But it certainly might be a political statement of some kind, and not just some high school kids tossing a ladyfinger. I agree with you in the sense it is no reason to panic; that doesn’t mean the people who did it were just having fun. I’m not afraid of it nor them, but it’s certainly an unusual enough event to warrant some investigation. I’m in agreement with you that we needn’t go overboard.
Comment by mondopercipient — 5/6/2005 @ 11:43 am
my bad on the placement of the bold/italics
Comment by mondopercipient — 5/6/2005 @ 12:16 pm
I have to agree with mondo on at least the ambulance thing. Years ago, my brother had an asthma attack that wasn’t being helped by the inhaler. This meant a trip to the hospital, which was fairly routine for us, but my mother didn’t have a car or anyone to give them a ride. My mother called the hospital, and she asked them to please, please, only send an ambulance, and that lights weren’t necessary. Well, a few minutes later, our street was being blocked off by firetrucks. Yes, asthma attacks are serious, but, honestly. We weren’t worried; he wasn’t about to die. It was ridiculous.
However, I have to say, it is common practice by now for the reps to use these dumb ass “news stories” to their advantage. This piffle was around before these guys (remind me someday to tell you the story of my brother’s senior prank), but they sure know how to use it.
Comment by random42 — 5/6/2005 @ 1:04 pm
Um, Mondo, how exactly, were these toy hand grenades not placed in a flower pot?????
Comment by retournez — 5/6/2005 @ 3:48 pm
An oldie, but still a goodie for a ne American Philosophy: “When in danger, when in doubt, run in circles, scream and shout.”
Comment by Sarge — 5/7/2005 @ 8:38 am