It is a time of fear in the face of freedom, a time for the widening of previous roads and the opening of new paths, a time of an emptying country and swelling cities, yet a time when these paths are mined by knowing algorithms of the all-seeing eye. It is the time of the warrior's peace and the miser's charity, when the planting of a seed is an act of conscientious objection.
 | The Piffle Heard Around the Nation, Continued |
Coeur D’Alene, 11:41 am GMT (INN) - Standing outside the entrance to the local Home Depot, garden center manager Tom Parsons is visibly shaken. “I used to think, living here in Idaho, that our rural way of life would always be safe. But now the terrorists have attacked the centerpiece of our front porch and the upper-left part of Aisle 16 of my business: large flower containers. What will we tell the children?”
Business has dropped appreciably since 10:00 am, when most residents of Coeur D’Alene began to find out about the terrorist plot to blow up one corner of a flowerbox in Manhattan. Parsons says he doesn’t expect sales to return to previous levels until at least 2:00 pm.
“When the terrorists do their dirty work against home and garden supplies, it’s the little people like me, managers of big-box stores, that see the damage,” Parsons said. “I’m kind of on a second front, I guess you could say. But, hey, United We Stand, or Pot, or something! They can invade our homeland. They can burn our flag. But they can’t take away our gardening containers!”
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What is the evidence that this is the work of terrorists, please reply if you have more information on this story.
Comment by Meghan Malone — 5/5/2005 @ 7:20 pm
None. And yet the story is being covered as if it is. That’s (in part) the point.
Comment by Odd Claude — 5/5/2005 @ 7:27 pm
Aha, I see, thank you for clearing that up for me Odd Claude
Comment by Meghan Malone — 5/5/2005 @ 8:58 pm
Wait a minute… “Flowerpot” is 9 letters, and misspelt as “flowerpotts” it’s 11 letter! 9 11!!!
NOTE: Misspelt and misspelled are alternative spellings and both fine. [Insert
here]
Comment by HareTrinity — 5/6/2005 @ 7:56 am
Okay…that’s it…Now they’ve done it…A BRUTAL attack on our nation’s BEGONIAS??? Enough is enough!!! This means war, I say! Let’s go spray Round-up on their poppy fields! THAT’LL show ‘em we mean business!
Comment by mike — 5/7/2005 @ 1:50 am