“Life starts at conception!” they say
Plan B is nixed by FDA
If that’s what they believe
Then each quim needs a sieve
To keep zygotes from flushing away
Respond with a limerick sweet
If you think you can manage the feat
You may fume, you may scheme
But please write on the theme
Or we’ll ruthlessly click on delete
They’ll pass the Plan B
When it’s not a woman like me
Rather, when pregnant is man
They’ll pass the B Plan
Oh, won’t that be a sight to see!
Let me try a little edit of that, Laura, for limerick rhythm:
There once was a pill called Plan B
that managed our fertility.
The FDA kicked it
but they would have picked it
if George Bush got pregnant like me.
If abortion stops a beating heart,
a slogan that tries to be smart,
Plan B should be fine,
not crossing that line,
for a zygote has not the heart part.
To me sentience brings life’s worth,
But what nearly fills me with mirth,
Is how the anti-aborts,
Speak of the criminal courts,
Pro-life apparently ended with birth.
If evil’s from snuffing the brain
of a zygote that feels joy or pain
You may look with great care
But no brain cells are there
Your search will be wholly in vain
We’ll use Plan B they say
To wipe our mistakes away
But use common sense
For just an instance
Plan A involves closing your legs.
While it’s awfully tidy and sweet
To think life is simple and neat
Complications arise
So isn’t it wise
Having backup when life skips a beat?
Kevin talks big ’bout Plan A
and takes all his own blame away.
Talk of closing our legs,
while the men use their pegs
takes the real Plan A only half way.
With Plan B there’s no bad side effects.
And that makes FDA want to hex.
‘Cause the religious right,
put them up to the fight.
What they want to control is our sex.
Not all couples want to raise a new life,
Not even every husband and wife,
And whether they do,
Is indeed not for you,
Or I to turn into a strife.
It’s all about morals they say
Or at least that’s the story today
But preventing gestation
Would reduce population
Then more for wage labor I’d pay
Mother implies womyn are slaves
To the desires a man craves
But if half the equation
Is removed from the situation
Then what’s the problem, I say?
For if you want to tango
Then to a dance hall you go
But if it’s not rhythm you seek
Stay home off your feet
As others sway to and fro
Personal responibilty is lacking
In a world of self-control cracking
For if it feels good
Then do it you should!
But don’t expect my financial backing
If you don’t want a baby that’s fine;
Find something else to do with your time
But if it comes to pass
You get a lad or a lass
Then don’t attempt to feign surprise
It’s not sex that is wrong;
That’s a verse in another song.
The problem is mistakes
And the risks some people take
And unwillingness to admit when they’re wrong
How could this happen to me?
I used protection, you see!
But nothing is fool proof
So prepare yourself; don’t be aloof
‘Cause even the most protected sex can make a baby.
Sex is great, sex is fun
But sex isn’t for everyone
So if your’re unprepared
To have in your life an infant there
Then perhaps consider the only 100% protection…
“Financial backing” is irrelevant
Plan B has no fiscal white elephant
Read the friggin’ description:
Pills without prescription
It’s a plan that is wholly benevolent
You have nifty conceptions of how
Other people should bow and kowtow
To your personal sight
Of what’s wrong and what’s right
But it’s none of your biz, is it now?
The point is, while you can complain
You find others’ actions a pain
When nobody gets harmed
Why raise legal alarm?
It’s conservative mullahs again.
A little common sense is all I ask
But apparently some aren’t up to the task
But don’t let consequences get in your way
For a romp in the hay
Let’s do it all we want– this pill will save our ass!
The pill’s always worked for me,
And I find myself sexually free,
To go and look after,
Myself and my partner,
It’s our choice as indeed it should be.
This isn’t about an abortion,
Or an unwanted daughter or son,
It’s about a safe pill,
That could be taken at will,
To help avoid all the confusion.
If they’re going to have sex anyway,
Then I’ll stay a little from topic as I say,
That many a virgin,
Cannot really get it in,
With some slippery rubber in the way.
So for the starters and those who,
Given the choice would protection times two,
I say they give,
This pill, and let live,
No doctor visits just stand in a queue.
A woman I never will be
So it’s hardly a question for me
Give my daughters a voice
And the freedom of choice
For it’s their life to live, don’t you see?
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