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They call it the city that never sleeps. Maybe that sleep deprivation explains why New York City went cuckoo over intellgence reports that experts called unreliable.

Search the bags! Sniff with dogs! Panic! Panic! Panic! Over the last 24 hours, the Department of Homeland Insecurity has swung into full freakout mode in New York City.

Most recently, Penn Station was evacuated over reports that there might a bomb there. Homeland Insecurity agents swept in wearing inflatable hazmat suits in order to deal with the suspected threat: A “package”, and a bottle with green liquid in it.

The “package” turned out to be trash. The green liquid in that bottle turned out to be drain cleaner. Of course, Homeland Insecurity agents are quick to remind us that that green liquid could just as well have been Gatorade. So let that be a lesson to you.

Could, could, oh could it be the Republican administrators of New York City times their Gotham Panic to coincide with George W. Bush’s speech announcing his belief that Islamic evildoers on dangerously close to establishing a radical Muslim empire stretching all the way from Spain to Indonesia? As President Bush gets desperate to have some fear for Americans to rally around, the propaganda setup looks pretty likely. Should I report this “suspicious behavior” to the Feds?

It’s a sad day for New York City. People used to think of New Yorkers as tough, street smart people who could take care of themselves. Now, under the hypersensitive leadership of Michael Bloomberg, the NYPD is running around with their arms flailing at the sight of the color green. I hear that Steven Bochco is going to develop a new television series that’s suitable for this new Manhattan culture: NYC Wuss.

It all reminds me of the right wing’s favorite sky-is-falling panic from the month of August. Paul L. Williams was on every right wing media outlet as well as all the parapsychology shows, telling anyone who would listen that he had secret evidence that Al Quaida had already smuggled over 20 nuclear suitcase bombs into major American cities, and they would be detonated any time now. I found an old fundamentalist blog post this afternoon at the Christian Media Research web site. The blog post, which reports on the conspiracy theory of Paul L. Williams, is entitled Countdown to Chaos! The Christian Media Research web site predicted that the nuclear annihilation of New York City, Boston, Washington D.C., Las Vegas, Philadelphia, Miami, Los Angeles, and Chicago was “right around the corner”.

Furthermore, the Christian Media Research people reported that American Jews knew all about the attack, even that the attack would be coming by the end of November this year. As a result, the Christian Media Research blog said, Jews were fleeing to Israel - and not telling any Christians about it!

Mixing a Homeland Insecurity panic with rabid antisemitism seems to come naturally to the right wing Republicans. How about stirring in a little bit of stupidity? Get this: Christian Media Research predicted that the supposed nuclear bombs would be set off in the American cities with the highest Jewish populations. Then, Christian Media Research concluded that American Jews must know about the coming nuclear attack because flights to Israel were highest from those very same cities! It never occurred to the Christian Media Research people that the flights to Israel were highest in those cities because:
1) Those cities had high populations
2) Those cities had relatively high Jewish poplations. You know, Jews… flying to Israel… every now and then… just like normal.

It’s kind of like saying that the salmon in the Northwest must know about an impending nuclear attack over the Pacific Ocean because they’re starting to swim from the ocean into the rivers, as far upstream as they can get, all of a sudden.

Oh, reason, logic, and facts don’t seem to matter much. The important lesson from the Republican freak-out fringe is that freaking out in New York City and across the nation has a value all its own.