With dismay, the Are We Living In the End Times blog quotes news article about a Scripps Howard/Ohio University poll: “Most Americans don’t believe they will experience a resurrection of their bodies after they die, putting them at odds with a core teaching of Christianity.”
The Religious Right is having a fit about the results. “This reflects the very low state of doctrinal preaching in our churches,” says editor of the Southern Baptist Journal of Theology.
I have an alternative explanation. It may be that most Americans believe that the idea of their bodies being reconstituted and reanimated by cosmic magical powers after they have died and rotted down into dirt is not only implausible, but also kind of disgusting.
In response to the question, “Do you believe that, after you die, your physical body will be resurrected someday?” 54 percent of Americans said “no”. 36 percent said “yes”. 10 percent were undecided.
It’s that undecided ten percent I’m most curious about. Just what kind of information are they waiting for before they make a decision? Either you’ll be a zombie for Christ, or you won’t. What’s to be undecided about?
Well, no christian really believes in the bible. They believe in the parts that suit their wants, needs or world-view, but they don’t buy the whole thing.
“Christian,” as defined by Ambrose Bierce:
CHRISTIAN, n. One who believes that the New Testament is a divinely inspired book admirably suited to the spiritual needs of his neighbor. One who follows the teachings of Christ in so far as they are not inconsistent with a life of sin.
“Zombies for Christ” could be a good bumper sticker…
Wasn’t Jesus supposed to be an exception?
And thus he sayeth, if you believe in our god as much as I do, you too shall join the undead legions…
Christian literalists don’t seem to realize that the whole idea of biblical literalism is itself an interpretation of the bible.
Christian literalists also don’t seem to realize that the bible is a collection of hearsay.
No, HareTrinity – Jesus was the first of God’s zombies. He was raised from the dead in that cave, and rolled aside the stone, kind of like a zombie clawing its way out of the earth.
Let us not forget John 11…
39 Jesus said, Take ye away the stone. Martha, the sister of him that was dead, saith unto him, Lord, by this time he stinketh: for he hath been dead four days.
40 Jesus saith unto her, Said I not unto thee, that, if thou wouldest believe, thou shouldest see the glory of God?
43 And when he thus had spoken, he cried with a loud voice, Lazarus, come forth.
44 And he that was dead came forth, bound hand and foot with graveclothes: and his face was bound about with a napkin. Jesus saith unto them, Loose him, and let him go.
See, the bible was a horror show.
Well I guess Christians believing in zombies isn’t so far fetched when you take into consideration that other religions believe in even stranger stuff – like Xenu, and getting a plethora of virgins and possibly coming back as a cockroach…
The Christian god really does have zombie legions? That’s pretty cool.
Not legions yet, just the one with holes in His hands and feet.
But on the judgement day, we all come back from our graves in the flesh. So they say.
Pretty scary.