Today, President George W. Bush told reporters on the White House Lawn, “I do want the people to understand, the American people to understand, that failure in Iraq is not an option.”
Also in the news:
Evil Kenevil, recently come out of retirement to jump his motorcycle over an abandoned nuclear reactor at Chernobyl, announced to a meeting of the American Medical Association that “getting cancer from the nuclear radiation is not an option.”
Jimmy Schultz, a nine year old boy from Clovis, New Mexico, has told his mother not to worry about his beginning an apprenticeship for lion tamers, because “being mangled and then eaten alive is not an option.”
Fred Rohrbacher, who bet his wife’s wedding ring that he would be able to levitate through the power of mental concentration alone, told his wife not to be angry at him, because “staying on the ground is not an option.”
Bill Yempris, widely favored to win the 2006 Northern Utah Russian Roulette Tournament this weekend, told his fans today not to worry about his health, because “I want my supporters to understand that getting a bullet in my brain is not an option.”
By the way, you reading this article and not leaving a comment is not an option.
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I, as an American person, do understand that good government is currently not an option.
Comment by An American Mick — 4/20/2006 @ 11:25 am
John Kerry, addressing the possibility of a 2008 Presidential run, said, “Not running again is not an option, unless it becomes an option.”
OJ Simpson, speaking to reporters from Bentwood Country Club’s 10th tee box as he vigilently searches for the killer(s) of Nicole and Ron, said, “A bogey on this hole is not an option.”
The Democratic Party, speaking on WMDs in Iraq: “Years ago, punishing Saddam for WMDs was not an option. Now that someone has taken our claims to task- and he’s a Republican!- but hasn’t found any, criticizing him for following our claims (even though we never mention our claims) is not an option!”
Comment by Kevin — 4/20/2006 @ 11:52 am
Ironic that you mention that, Kevin. It was Ronald Reagan and George H.W. Bush who refused to punish Saddam Hussein’s use of weapons of mass destruction. Instead, Reagan and Bush Sr. sent representatives of the American government to meet with Hussein and see how we could help his government.
Comment by Patricia — 4/20/2006 @ 12:30 pm
Patricia,
I was an Arabic linguist in Air Force Intelligence back when Saddam Hussein was our ‘friend’! (So was Osama bin Laden, at that time, come to think of it)
Ain’t life grand?
Comment by An American Mick — 4/20/2006 @ 8:36 pm
We did have some pretty interesting “friends” back in the day:
Saddam, Noriega, Marcos, Pinochet, The Shah of Iran, bin Laden…
With friends like these, who needs enemies?
Comment by Greg — 4/21/2006 @ 1:31 pm
Yup, that Reagan Legacy is starting to look a lot less positive.
Comment by Junga — 4/21/2006 @ 1:41 pm
Well, to be fair, you can’t pin the Shah of Iran on Reagan–though he did sell weapons to Ayatollah Khomeini.
No, America’s history of cozying up to dictators goes way back into the Cold War years. Back then, the U.S.A. and the U.S.S.R. fought each other for world domination by throwing gasoline on a lot of regional flashpoints along the lines of Communist containment.
Whose clever idea was it to train a bunch of religious zealots from across the Middle East to base themselves on the Pakistani/Afghan border and launch guerilla strikes against the global superpower occupying Afghanistan?
Jimmy frickin’ Carter!
Reagan was bad, but the Democrats’ hands are dirty, too.
Comment by Greg — 4/21/2006 @ 6:31 pm
Hello, Patricia! I’ll take a nice glass of “proof,” please! Damn, what does it take to get service at this bar???
Comment by Kevin — 4/22/2006 @ 6:41 pm
Apparently, for Kevin to believe anything bad about Ronald Reagan is not an option.
Comment by Peregrin Wood — 4/22/2006 @ 7:11 pm