Okay, it’s Friday, people. So, let’s get frivolous.
Today, people reported the sound of gunshots in Congressional offices in Washington D.C.
Now, a few hours later, they’re coming out with the story that, after the Capitol was shut down, it was really just construction equipment that made the noise.
Uh huh. Yeah, like swamp gas and a full moon explains those flying saucers I saw hovering outside my Aunt Maude’s ice cream social last weekend.
Come at it, folks. What’s the best conspiracy theory you can come up? What really happened in the Rayburn building today, who is covering it up, and why?
My own personal theory: the tension building as members of Congress simultaneously attempted to refer to themselves as Champions of Fiscal Responsibility, to raise spending sky-high on Halliburton contracts, and to cut taxes for the megarich finally released itself after Republicans finally stretched it all too far, producing a resounding TWWWWAAAAAAAAAP that could be heard from the White House to Capitol Hill to K Street.
My conspiracy theory: A corrupt Congressman was confronted by someone with additional evidence against him, blackmailing him. The Congressman shot the blackmailer, and the Capitol police, under the new arrangement between the White House and Congress, gave amnesty to the crime. The deal keeps Bush from being impeached, and keeps about 50 members of Congress from going to jail. “It was just a jackhammer,” the police said after the lockdown, and all Congress agreed it must be so, with a wink and a nod.