It is a time of fear in the face of freedom, a time for the widening of previous roads and the opening of new paths, a time of an emptying country and swelling cities, yet a time when these paths are mined by knowing algorithms of the all-seeing eye. It is the time of the warrior's peace and the miser's charity, when the planting of a seed is an act of conscientious objection.
 | More Love Mail: No Insurance for You, You Pesky Atheist! |
Rose Williamson of Williamsburg Insurance writes us with Love Mail from that state we just know is for lovers, Virginia:
If I knew someone was an atheist, I would not vote for them for any public office. Nor would I work for them, or if possible do business with them. Sorry, they may have more EDUCATION, but they are not smarter, and I am so sorry for their eternal future.
Well, there you have it from the horse’s snout! Rose Williamsburg of Williamsburg Insurance would rather not do business with you if you are an atheist. Rose, we’re happy to spread the word so that you won’t have to do any more business with that pesky 14% of the American population that does not believe in God. Help Rose out: if you live in Williamsburg, Virginia and don’t believe in God, whatever you do, DON’T look up Williamsburg Insurance and give Rose a call. You’ll only hurt her tender sensibilities, and we wouldn’t want that, now would we?
Rose, we want to help you some more and in that regard could use a bit more help. If someone thinks that maybe they don’t believe in God, should they refrain from calling you? Would maybe a telegraph be an OK option in that regard, to avoid direct contact? And how about Jews? Can you do business with Jews, or would that also be a good group to avoid, since some of them, you know, KILLED JESUS? And, hmmm, what about the Muslims? And the Buddhists? Are you sorry enough about their eternal future that you’d rather not do business with them either? How about Episcopaleans? Theologically speaking, they are a pretty shady lot.
Write back to us, Rose! We’d love to help spread the word about who you’d rather not do business with, but we need these clarifications first.
Contact Us
What about Jehovah’s Witnesses? Catholic? Mormons? Satanists? Protestants?
In my experience different branches of Christianity don’t much like each other.
Comment by HareTrinity — 7/7/2006 @ 3:49 am
That’s becasue We are right and They are wrong, (probably), anyhow we wouldn’t like god very much if they ended up being right, so we must be right. The final Spiritual test for us, though, is whether their money is green. If the money is green, we will take it. That’s in the Bible somewhere, isn’t it?
Comment by Iroquois Honky — 7/7/2006 @ 4:08 am
Uh…. Haretrinity, did you classify satanists as a branch of Christianity!?
Comment by Phil — 5/11/2008 @ 3:32 am