How Do You Profile a Muslim? Paul Nelson, Help Us Understand

As I mentioned earlier today, Wisconsin House candidate Paul Nelson, chosen by Republicans as the man who best represents their ideas, has told us that in order to catch the terrorists, government authorities need to profile Muslims:

“Racial profiling is one way that we can cut down on security risks,” Nelson said in an interview with WIXK Radio in New Richmond. Part of the interview was posted on Wisconsin Radio Network’s Web site. “It’s time to stop being politically correct here and be serious and tough on the war on terror.”

When asked how to tell what a Muslim male looks like, Nelson replied “Well, you know, if he comes in wearing a turban and his name is Mohammed, that’s a good start.”

Nelson told the AP he doesn’t understand why his remarks would be controversial.

I’ve already talked about the eensy-teensy constitutional problem with profiling. But let’s help Paul Nelson understand other aspects the controversy, using some questions with little, tiny words that he can easily understand. So come on, Paul, tell us. How will this work? Will the TSA ask everybody for their religion before boarding? Should they identify their partiuclar sect, too? Do we ask them, “Are you an extreme fundamentalist?” Will terrorists answer these questions honestly? Did the 9/11/01 hijackers wear turbans? Or are we supposed to refer to Arabic names? That’s an ethnic, not a religious standard; not all Arabs are Muslim. So are Arabs the profiled targets? Did you know that the largest Muslim country is Indonesia? How about skin? Do people at the TSA look for brown skin? Or is it a certain shape to the eye? Or is it the shape of a nose? The puffiness of lips?

I expect to hear some kind of “you know what I mean” response: “come on. We all know what a terrorist looks like. I know it when I see it.” But if that is true, if you know it when you see it, then it should be really easy to describe. So go ahead, Paul. Tell us what you’re looking for, in the sort of exact detail that could actually be enacted into a protocol for the Transportation Security Agency. Because, you know, if it can’t be translated into a protocol, your suggestion is practically useless.

Paul Nelson isn’t isolated. He’s the guy chosen by Wisconsin Republicans as best representative of their ideas. The appearance of nutcakes like Paul Nelson on the ballot is indicative of some wide-ranging nuttiness in the Republican Party as well.

Lest you think I’m just a naysayer, there is a reasonable alternative. CBS News reports that TSA screeners are being appropriately trained in behavioral, not religious, profiling:

While X-ray machines and explosive scanners focus on weapons, Transportation Security chief Kip Hawley said Tuesday that screeners are studying passengers for signs of nervousness.

“It is involuntary muscular behaviors that are across the board, that doesn’t matter what you look like. You don’t have to look like a terrorist to exhibit these involuntary behaviors,” he says.