Bush Gone Bonkers On Iraq

It is now official. I have a signed document with the gold medallion on top of a seal of wax and everything, attesting to the fact that George W. Bush has finally gone completely insane when it comes to Iraq. Here’s what Bush says now says about Iraq, according to the Associated Press:

“President Bush said Tuesday that the sectarian violence rocking Iraq is part of an al-Qaida plot to goad Iraqi factions into repeated attacks and counterattacks.”

Help me out with this one, because I don’t think I get it. We’re now supposed to believe that it’s an al-Qaida plan to goad Iraqi factions into fighting each other? How then, did al-Qaida convince George W. Bush to help their plan by invading Iraq?

Wait a minute… is George W. Bush part of an al-Qaida sleeper cell? Hm… naah. He’s just crazy.

Think about it, now: What in the world would motivate al-Qaida to focus its energy on getting Iraqi factions to fight each other? They weren’t working on behalf of such a project before the Americans invaded.

Is it all a devious plot by Osama Bin Laden to make George W. Bush look stupid? Is that what the so-called War on Terror has morphed into in Bush’s kinked little brain now? The War on Terror has become the War Against Bush Looking Like a Raving Idiot?

Well, that war may take generations, indeed, as Bush has said. There’s no need for it to involve bloodshed, though, just some revisionist history.

Bush said, “When you see a young democracy beginning to emerge in the Middle East, the extremists try to defeat its emergence. Extremists attack because they can‘t stand the thought of a democracy. And the same thing is happening in Iraq.”

Oh, damn. I have to read that statement again. Which extremists were we talking about again? Was it the Islamic extremists or the American pro-war extremists? It’s hard to tell the difference between the two these days. Uncannily, every time George W. Bush tries to say something nasty about al-Qaida, he also ends up describing himself.