The teenage Buddhist prophet of Nepal, Ram Bomjon, also known to some as Palden Dorje, went missing some months ago, disappearing into the forests. This disappearance occurred just as government investigators were closing in on the alleged fraud created by Ram Bomjon and his closest cadre of supporters, who claimed that Ram Bomjon had been sitting, meditating, without moving or eating or going to the bathroom for over eight months straight. His devotees called Ram Bomjon a new incarnation of the Buddha. His skeptics called Ram Bomjon a charlatan.
As of this morning, the mystery of whatever happened to Ram Bomjon has been solved. Ram Bomjon was spotted at a Walgreens in Hoboken, New Jersey this morning. He was purchasing a pack of mentos and a Tiger Beat magazine.
With Ram Bomjon was Mary Kate Olsen. Security cameras appeared to show the two kissing in the cosmetics department, but because of the camera angle it’s not absolutely certain that the child star and the enlightened teenager were really smooching. Rumors are now flying that Mary Kate will break up with her boyfriend of three weeks.
When asked what he was doing in Hoboken, Ram Bomjon answered that his meditations in the forest have led him to realize that his spiritual calling on Earth is to become a movie star. He will make an appearance in Scary Movie 5 later this year.
