Happy Oas(is), the founder of the Raw Spirit Festival, reports on personal experience with a successful breatharian in New Zealand:
Realistically we are all primarily breatharians, because we are breathing nearly continuously and require breathing to sustain us, whereas food is, relatively speaking, a supplement, and for most of us, a required daily supplement.
Having lived with a variety of peoples as an adventure anthropologist in many countries, I have likely enjoyed a wider range of life experiences than some people. One time I lived with a very humble Maori woman in New Zealand who felt embarrassed by the fact that if she ate more than one or two meals per week, she would feel ill. She was not benefitting in any way by not eating, and thought there was something wrong with her. She had no reason to lie, told only very few of us about it, and the news went nowhere beyond the health food store where she worked as a simple clerk with others who occasionally would somewhat rudely try to insist that she eat more. Since I lived with her and witnessed this, I saw how great can be the range of human metabolism.
I can personally corroborate Happy’s report, having met th(is) very giving Maori woman myself. She shared her home and oh so much more of herself with me during a lovely week, and her being infused me with the spirit of light.
I learned something from that time: humble Maori breatharians do not really go well with red wine. Apparently, living on air gives one more of a white meat flavor, which calls out for a Chardonnay, a Pinot Blanc, or a Riesling afterwards. If you must, a glass of light Rose will do tolerably, but no Merlots or Syrahs! My poorly thought-out choice nearly ruined the experience for me. Ah, well, even a Lorehealer has much to learn.
Also, bring a toothpick.
Yours humbly, et cetera,
Dr. C.D. Skye, Lorehealer, Breatharianarian
I’m not sure how to break this to you, O Lorehealer, but I think you just did a really big boo-boo. How to put this delicately. The woman you just ate was not a Breatharian.
First of all, what do Breatharians believe? In spiritual cleansing by ingesting air and light alone.
http://www.wwrn.org/article.php?idd=19569&sec=55&cont=5
And what do Breatharians do when confronted with an obvious illness? Deny that it is an illness. Claim it is a spiritual manifestation. For example here are the statements of the Australian Breatharian couple convicted of manslaughter in the case of the death of Breatharian Lani Marsha Rosalind Morris:
http://www.apologeticsindex.org/news/an991120.html#8
1) The Maori woman said “if she ate more than one or two meals per week, she would feel ill” and “thought there was something wrong with her”. No hocus pocus there. She said she was sick. When people stop eating they ususally ARE sick. Therefore, she was not a Breatharian.
2)The Breatharian response to this–as demonstrated by Happy Oasis–is to deny the illness and say “how great can be the range of human metabolism”. After all, she’s a brown woman, not like us. If she is starving it’s because third world people are supposed to starve. They do it all the time. They are used to it. There is no minimum calorie intake requirement for you if you are brown. That’s how Jasmuheen proposes to end world starvation. Let them eat prana.
2) So jclifford, er, Lorehealer, the woman you ate was sick. Maybe she had an untreated cancer or something causing a blockage, or maybe it was just reflux. Let’s just hope it was not something you can catch by eating, like an infection or something. In the future, do try to remember the first rule of cannibalism. Don’t eat anything sick or tainted. That’s how you catch Mad Cow.
2)You can hurt your teeth with toothpicks. Use floss.
3)Everyone knows human flesh is more like pork than chicken. You must drink beer with it. I would recommend a Belgian with a lemony/herbal bouquet. And FYI, red wine goes with everything. Forget the whites–they’re too sweet–and pick dry red like Merlot or Cabernet Savignon. But if you’re really striving for spiritual lightness, forgo the wine snob routine. Even in the third world a discriminating Breatharianarian can always find Heineken.
3b) May I suggest gin and tonic on rocks with a twist as a blood purifier and all-purpose inoculation, just in case?
Morr(is) (is)n’t that Maori woman. I didn’t eat anyone named Morr(is). Morr(is) is a cat. I wouldn’t eat a cat. How dare you suggest it! Revolting.
No, no, no, not Morris the Cat. Nobody has eaten Morris the Cat. How gross.
This was a different Morris, a Breatharian newbie who died from “stroke, renal failure, severe dehydration, pneumonia and the onset of gangrene in her legs” after reading Jasmuheen’s book “Living on Light”. Nobody ate her either, not with all that gangrene.
Anyhow, what I am trying to tell you is that Maori woman you ate wasn’t a real Breatharian. She didn’t eat because eating made her feel sick, not because she was seeking spiritualism.
Now maybe you’re of the persuasion that inedia itself is a great spiritual enlightener, and that any non-eater is automatically a Breatharian. But what about motives and intentions? I say they count for a lot. I say you won’t find the true spiritual purity you seek until you find a better quality of Breatharian to eat.
With beer.