It is a time of fear in the face of freedom, a time for the widening of previous roads and the opening of new paths, a time of an emptying country and swelling cities, yet a time when these paths are mined by knowing algorithms of the all-seeing eye. It is the time of the warrior's peace and the miser's charity, when the planting of a seed is an act of conscientious objection.
 | What’s The Worst Possible Political Headline? |
Last night, I saw the following headline, and the thought occurred to me that this headline would be a textbook example of the worst possible story that a politician could have written about him:
This morning, let’s have a semi-open thread of discussion:
Can you come up with a news headline that would be worse for a politician than this one?
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Senator Arrested in Toilet Says He’s Not Gay, Just Atheist
Comment by Jim — 8/29/2007 @ 9:46 am
Senator Arrested With Human Hand in Toilet Says He’s Not A Cannibal
Comment by Detriment — 8/29/2007 @ 9:53 am
Senator Abducted by Aliens in Toilet receives Brain Transplant and Homing Device Implant.
Comment by Iroquois — 8/29/2007 @ 10:05 am
President Bush promises active and whole-hearted support for Senator’s re-election campaign.
Comment by Mark — 8/29/2007 @ 11:46 am
Man fleeing local stable recognized as…
Comment by Luke — 8/29/2007 @ 12:15 pm
Hillary Wins!
Sorry, you meant for a politician, I was thinking about for the rest of America.
Comment by SpankyTuTone — 8/29/2007 @ 12:27 pm
Oh, I don’t know, the Clinton years were pretty good for me. Anyone that Maliki hates publicly can’t be all bad.
Comment by Iroquois — 8/29/2007 @ 12:41 pm
It’s all about YOU, isn’t it?
****
Here are some:
Voters showing increased tendency to think before casting ballots.
Taxpayers given line-item veto power over budget.
Wal-Mart HR department to run Congressional pay & benefits programs.
Comment by SpankyTuTone — 8/29/2007 @ 1:01 pm
Don’t like women much do you, Spanky. If more men would “think before casting ballots” as you put it, instead of consulting their tiny little gonad-based egos, maybe we would have had good government long before this. So did you have your beer with Dubya yet, Spanky? Are you on the Halliburton gravy train?
Comment by Iroquois — 8/29/2007 @ 7:13 pm
Senator Insists He Did Not Kill His Boy Toy For Sleeping With His Wife.
Senator’s Constituents Figure Out That “I’m Not Gay” Doesn’t Mean He’s Not Bi.
Comment by John Stracke — 8/30/2007 @ 9:17 am
Iroquois wrote:
That’s not really a fair response. He didn’t mention gender at all. I don’t think Hillary would be a good President, either, but it’s got nothing to do with her gender.
Comment by John Stracke — 8/30/2007 @ 9:25 am
Sure it’s fair, John. Spanky is the kind of guy who likes to hit and run. He makes a nasty remark about Clinton, but doesn’t back it up. He makes a remark about the “rest of America” but clearly doesn’t consider a generic female poster to be included in “the rest of America”. Just like when he called me a liar, but couldn’t back it up and wouldn’t take it back. I’ve got this guy’s number and it’s a zero.
Comment by Iroquois — 8/30/2007 @ 9:43 am
Oh, yeah the thread topic is the ‘worst headline’…
How about “Justice department shuts down politically dissenting bloggers”…
Wait a minute, you wouldn’t get a headline for that one, would you. You would just try to look at the blog and it would time out trying to connect to the server….
Comment by Iroquois — 8/30/2007 @ 9:50 am
In case anyone’s still trying to figure out what happened to the computers yesterday, slowing down then quitting entirely, the time stamp on my post #9 is wrong–it was posted closer to 2:30 pm.
Comment by Iroquois — 8/30/2007 @ 10:04 am
How about…
Congressman Pushes for Final Solution regarding Race Problem
or
Bloomberg Spotted in McDonald’s Lobby, About to Order McFlurry
“I wouldn’t quite say that,” Bloomberg later told our photographer. “I have not officially made any decision regarding any flavor of McFlurry, any Filet-o-Fish sandwich, or any Big n Tasty. That’s my only statement.”
Potential candidate Fred Thompson was found in an adjacent Denny’s, anxiously debating between a Grand Slam and a Moons over My Hammy.
Comment by Zerwick — 8/30/2007 @ 11:22 am
Iroquois,
You go find that thread where I called you a liar and I’ll show you why.
This is a humor thread, and I know that a lot of people would consider Hillary to the be worst President we ever had. Based on what I’ve seen posted here on IT, source of all knowldege about things Progressive, Barack seems to be the better candidate, anyway. Not that I give an RFA about who is more Progressive than whom, but if I -did- live by “Progressive Ideals,” Barack would be my candidate, and I don’t even have to hold my water until all 2008 reasons have been compiled to be able to figure that out.
I don’t care what chromosome someone carries.
BTW, How did I go from being someone who badgers people so much that you feel compelled to say, “Enough already!” to being a hit-and-run kind of guy?
Also, if -I- don’t back things up, that’s a bad thing, but if Little j. doesn’t back things up (he never did tell us what award the high school art students were going to win), you don’t call -him- on it. Why not?
Comment by SpankyTuTone — 8/30/2007 @ 7:35 pm
Oh, so Spanky is making nasty remarks about Clinton because he thinks it’s funny. And making nasty remarks about Clinton is funny because, because, …
And when I say the Clinton years proved good for me, Spanky makes a nasty remark about that because, um, because, …
Maybe the Clinton years were the best in recent memory but Spanky doesn’t have a snarky answer for that.
Comment by Iroquois — 8/31/2007 @ 12:09 am
Worst Headline:
Bush, Foley, Guliani found in a threesome, playing Madden ‘08 with plastic army men while trying to figure out best route for anti-homosexual propaganda.
Comment by The Animist — 8/31/2007 @ 12:20 am
It could happen.
Comment by The Animist — 8/31/2007 @ 12:21 am
heres one—
senator found in outhouse with unidentified humanoid screams dont tell wife!
Comment by bobby man — 9/10/2007 @ 6:27 pm
another—
senator found in bed with unidentified animal says im not perverted
(or normal)
Comment by bobby man — 9/10/2007 @ 6:28 pm
How bout;
Senator found bending over toilet Says the color’s funny
Comment by Phil — 5/13/2008 @ 12:38 am