War Against Christmas Hawkers Get Desperate with Fort Collins

How desperate are the people hawking the idea of a “War Against Christmas?” They’re so desperate that they’ve launched a Jeremiad against the city of Fort Collins, Colorado, declaring that the city government of Fort Collins is “banning Christmas.” And what action merits this charge of a “ban on Christmas?” A task force has suggested to the City Council that it change from red and green lights to white lights in the city’s own decorations.

I’m not making this up. The American Family Association, through its wire service One News Now, is referring to the possible change from red and green to white lights in city decorations as “the epitome of the war against Christmas.”

Irony is dead! Now more than ever, the world will never be the same! Call out the bomb squad! Put up the barbed wire fences! Grab your grandma! Put the dog in the shed! Take a leak on your car radiator! Run to the hills! FORT COLLINS MIGHT PUT UP WHITE LIGHTS!

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

p.s. Has anyone told the American Family Association that red and green are colors taken from pagan winter solstice celebrations?

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3 Responses to War Against Christmas Hawkers Get Desperate with Fort Collins

  1. Vynce says:

    Jim, even the pagans have given up on the ownership of red & green. ironically, they now wear mostly purple.

  2. Jim says:

    Aaaaaa! A Very Barney Christmas! Aaaaaaaaa!

  3. meta says:

    what up homes?

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