The first time I tried sincerity. This time I’ll try spoofing it.
The video goes like this:
Are you about worn out of all the television commercials you’ve been seeing, mostly about politics? I don’t blame you. After all, political commercials are about somebody like me on a screen telling you what he thinks you want to hear, even if they don’t make sense. Take me in this commercial, for instance. I’m running for President, and this commercial is paid for out of my presential campaign committee funds. It’s not the president’s job to tell anybody what god to believe in, in what way, or why.
But my well-paid consultants told me that my base wants me to promote Christianity and promote the brand name of “Jesus Christ” even though that has nothing to do with being president. And me? I’m not Jesus Christ. I’m Mike Huckabee, and I want to get my hands on power badly enough that I’ll say just about anything to get elected. I’ll put on this red sweater even though it makes me itch, and I’ll sit here in front of a plastic tree and a plywood set with the image of a cross, and I’ll say “Jesus Christ” until the cows come home, so long as it gets me elected.
So here goes:
Merry Christmas. What really matters in this presidential election is the celebration of the birth of Christ. Jesus died for your sins. I’ll make Jesus my Secretary of State. Christ almighty, would you look at the time? Jesus, my butt hurts from sitting on this chair. Jesus McChristy, but my Jesus had a Christing of a Jesus Lord and Savior up the Jesus Jesus Jesus over Jesus on toast. My Jesus lies over the Ocean, my Jesus lies over the see. My Jesus lies over the Ocean. Oh, bring back my Jesus to me. Jesus Jesus, Jesus Jesus Jesus, Jesus Jesus, Jesus Jesus Jesus…
