Think hard, now. What’s the biggest problem that the United States of America is facing right now?
You’ve got it wrong. It’s baby turtles. Baby turtles are the biggest problem facing the USA right now, or so you’d think if you looked at the legislative record of Louisiana Republican Rodney Alexander.
Congressman Alexander hasn’t actually done much in 2008, but he has taken the time to try solve the baby turtle crisis that is gripping the nation.
Haven’t heard of the baby turtle crisis? Congressman Alexander has, and he’s decided that it’s time to act!
That’s why he has written the Domestic Pet Turtle Market Access Act of 2007 – H.R.924 – “to require the Food and Drug Administration to permit the sale of baby turtles”.
You see, there has been a ban on the sale of baby turtles as pets since 1975. Since then, great suffering has resulted… like the lack of baby turtles in pet stores. If we can’t have baby turtles for pets, after all… well then we can’t have baby turtles for pets, and that’s… not really so bad, is it?
Yet, Congressman Rodney Alexander is on the job, to ease our, um, suffering. He has come up with his law to require the FDA to allow the sale of baby turtles as pets.
What’s more, Rodney Alexander has persuaded six other members of Congress to cosponsor the baby turtle pet law. These cosponsors are:
Rep Richard Baker
Rep Charles Boustany
Rep William Jefferson
Rep Bobby Jindal
Rep Jim McCrery
Rep Charlie Melancon
These representatives all have something in common with Rodney Alexander. They’re all from Louisiana.
Curious. What the heck is it with Louisiana and baby turtles for the pet sale? It couldn’t be that somebody in Louisiana with political connections would profit from the sale of baby turtles as pets, could it?
I’m sure that’s not it. That would suggest political corruption, and as we all know, Louisiana politics is squeaky clean. Representative William Jefferson, who cosponsors this bill, is a perfect example of that, right?
The current law allows the POSSESSION of baby turtles – so you can breed turtles and give them to other hobbyists or friends, you just can’t sell them “in connection with a business… unless for BONA FIDE educational or scientific purposes.” Did the good congressman also mention that the red-eared sliders – the turtles most often bred by LA turtle farms and the cheapest ones on the market – can get up to 6-12″ in size, need a 75 gallon aquarium, and can live 20-60 years? There are currently thousands of unwanted pet red-eared sliders needing new homes, becuase people didn’t do their research or were lied to when they were illegally sold a baby turtle (almost any tourist area in the US has illegal baby turtle sales). If you take care of it, it grows! Sliders are also considered an invasive species in many states where they’re not native, and it’s illegal to even own one in Oregon, for fear that dumped sliders will out-compete native turtles. Baby turtles bred on large “turtle farms” down south can be a huge money maker, since the cute little babies sell like hot cakes – IF the buyer doesn’t know the truth about what he’s getting into. But, what cost to other states that try to clean up the feral, invasive non-native dumped pet sliders in their water ways?
Apparently the general population is UNeducated regarding the facts surrounding samonella and baby turtles. Samonella is EVERYWHERE – have you had any experience with samonella from lettuce – BIG national SCARE recently – also from American processed meat – another big ordeal. Baby turtles, from the egg digging process to the hatching is tightly regulated and sterilization IS IMPERATIVE, ACCEPTED, and PRACTICED. GET YOUR FACTS STRAIGHT – IN THIS DEPRESSED ECONOMY- EVERY PENNY COUNTS. BABY TURTLE FARMERS ENDURE BACKBREAKING WORK IN THE SEARING HEAT – WITH NO GOVT. SUBSIDIES.